Camp people visited me! So one of the radio instructors (I'll call her Lia as she's from Australia) and the gym instructor (I'll call her Ain since she's from Britain) are in DC for a couple of days, so we met up, along with a friend that "Ain" met on her way to America who was working at another summer camp (I'll call her "2" since she's British too). It was good seeing them again, and "2" seemed really cool too. We ate at a California-named Mexican restaurant near Chinatown, then I accompanied them and about 25 other people staying at their international youth hostel on a tour of Georgetown. The tourguide figured out I was American but I don't know if he realized I wasn't actually staying at the hostel, though I don't think that should have mattered much. It was really good to hang out with them again-there both cool, chill people and I wish I had gotten more time with them at camp...hoping to see them again reasonably soon (and happy that I have friends to look up should I visit the UK or Australia).

Wow. I didn't imagine that Hurricane Katrina would be so bad. You hear about natural disasters in other parts of the world, but you don't think it can/will happen in the US, given our resources and ability to predict and prepare for these things. But now, as the death toll and level of damage are becoming known in the areas hit by the hurricane...wow.

I'm also concerned, as I tend to be, that the response to the hurricane will take attention and resources away from other needy places in the world. Not that we shouldn't contribute to hurricane relief (including bc one of the things that I'm starting to appreciate is that a lot of the area hit by the hurricane included some pretty poor parts of the country), but I think that such things tend to completely cloud out other issues going on in the world. The hurricane is being likened to the tsunami of last December, but I wonder if tsunami relief (which I already fear has long faded from the minds of Americans) will further decrease as people and companies and organizations (and maybe government?) divert attention and resources to hurricane relief instead. Or crises that we were just becoming aware of, like hunger in Niger-will we lose the focus that we started to have on these situations. And even when its not an issue of a direct tradeoff of resources, but just us not paying attention-for instance, apparently hundreds of people died in Iraq today in a stampede on a bridge that was started by rumors that a suicide bomber was about to strike. Normally this would be a huge story given the massive loss of life (its supposed to be the deadliest single incident since the war started), but having checked CNN its a relatively minor headline.

I don't think we should focus on other parts of the world to the detriment of our own country, but I so wish that it didn't have to be an either/or situation. If only we could focus on more than one thing at a time.

Should I get a driver's license? I know the short answer is yes, but how much of a priority should it be? On the one hand, I've gotten by without one and I'll probably be around good public transport for a while. On the other hand, getting by has left me reliant on other people for rides (particularly in SC or MD, but also in places like when i was at camp these last couple summers) and all things being equal, it would be nice to have the option of driving around places. And so many people do it, it can't be that hard can it? And girls dig guys with cars, right (it always comes back to that doesn't it :))?

Dentist appointment this morning. Yay!
Two camp friends coming to DC. Non-sarcastic yay!

So where should I take a Brit and an Aussie in our nation's capital? And would they mind me referring to them by their nationalities like that or should I, you know, actually call them their names?

I think I want to learn how to dance. Nothing too fancy, just a few basic steps. And I should probably learn to do some more club/party style dancing as well, as opposed to the one rocking from side to side thing that I do all the time now. If only I were coordinated...

By the way, how do people actually dance to techno; I haven't quite figured that one out yet.

So Kanye has a song out called "Diamonds", but the remix (and the video for the original) are titled "Diamonds (from Sierra Leone)", referring to so-called blood diamonds that were produced by child labor and sold by rebels who committed major atrocities in the west African country of Sierra Leone during it's civil war. I'm not sure yet how I feel about the song. It is nice that someone would pay attention to this problem, even if it is a few years late, but I don't know, something about it doesn't sit right...

So Pat Robertson is causing a big stir with his surprising and very nonChristian sounding comments to assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez.

On the surface, the outroar is very appropriate in my opinion. Christian leaders calling for the assassination of political leaders they don't like just doesn't go for me.

On the other hand though, he does have a point. Not about Chavez in particular-I think that Chavez not liking us and having a lot of oil is far from a capital offense ("ooo, they might not sell us their oil-let's kill him!"). I don't think Communism is a big threat to us nowadays, and I'm not sure where the Islamic terrorist link is supposed to come from.

In general though, Robertson does have a point about killing a leader vs. starting a war. I'm still undecided whether Christianity completely forbids any kind of violence/killing including military action (which, if it does, would definitely contradict Robertson's notion). But if you do allow that Christianity allows military action under certain circumstances (self-defense perhaps, or protecting innocent lives), then, should such circumstances arise and a choice present itself between starting a war and merely taking out an evil leader, then the latter seems by far to be the lesser of two evils. A policy of assassination is not a good idea generally, but if it is a choice between killing one person and starting a war that will kill hundreds or thousands and cause lots of other suffering and cost lots more etc, then just taking out the one actual bad guy at the top seems like a relatively good idea.

It is interesting that, of all the people that such an argument could actually apply to (there are lots of dictators and bad rulers out there causing tons of suffering to their people and others), Robertson chose to aim this assassination doctrine at Chavez, who was popularly elected and whose main crimes are that he says bad things about the US gov and threatens to cut off oil. Makes you wonder about our priorities.

Just a reminder that comments are much appreciated (I like to hear your feedback, and they let me know people are actually reading this)

So I really enjoyed camp but I didn't like some of the things it "did" to me. For one, I ended up having to compromise my moral code* in order to finish a project there. I'm kinda disappointed in myself, especially since I had to do the same thing last year and should have known better than to get myself back into that situation.

Also, I felt as though the atmosphere, though good in a lot of ways (and filled with some good people) started to rub off on me in some bad ways. Like my attitude toward girls or like getting annoyed/angry at people and being close (well close for me anyway) to snapping at people and/or using non-Christian language. I also think it might have impaired my relationship with God, between being busy and not going to church a lot or having a lot of time for Bible, prayer, plus the stuff I've already mentioned above.

I liked camp, but didn't completely like the kind of person I was (or was edging closer to being) when I was there, if that makes sense.

*Note-I've been told that stuff like "compromise my moral code" was a bit vague, which I kinda intended it to be. Without being very specific, it was one of those things that many people do and don't have any moral qualms about but that I do not do in my real life. Think Jaywalking, but a bit more serious. As this is still very ambiguous, ask me if you want to know exactly what I'm talking about and I'll tell you-I just didn't want to post it on the internet (not that I think anyone would actually get in trouble for it, but I am a bit paranoid I guess)

Usually I don't strongly miss people after we part. It's like I dread the parting beforehand (or at least don't look forward to it) but then when it actually happens its more of a blankness than an actual emotion. But now I'm really missing people now that I've left camp. Some folk in particular I'm missing individually, but also missing the place as a whole. I dunno-I guess it was like camp was its own little world and I had my place in it and now that world is gone and I'm left to float and wow this all sounds kinda deep doesn't it?

It also has me missing people from other times in my life, like school or previous summers. I'm headed back to school in a couple weeks, which will be good (as I get to reunite with many old friends and some newer ones), but I also think that its gonna be different now that I'm in grad school. It's more like the real world (compounded that I'm not living in a dorm but in an apartment, although with some really cool folk), and I've found that I enjoy nonreal worlds (dorm life, camp) to the real world (though being on the MTV show of that name might be cool).

It's also cloudy outside.

I did buy some new music though, which makes me happy :)

In Limbo-not at kamp any more, not back at school yet.

I'm really going to try to keep in touch with camp folk. Wow, I'm actually missing you guys. I guess we had some Good Times (yes, I do say that a lot-I know). I actually got kind of close with some people this time around, as opposed to last year when I went with one of my best friends (hey Dub) and so mainly hung around him and folk he knew. At least now I have friends in places like Australia, the UK, Philadelphia (or close to it at least), Indiana, etc. So if i'm ever taking a weird rode trip in my amphibious car, I can stop by and see all of ya'll.

Oh, and the unofficial MBPC (Maine Black People Count) for this summer was 105, about 10-15 more than last year. We're taking over!

Back home for a couple week before going off to school. Got to hang out with my current and former roomie(s) and some camp people over the weekend. There are some people that I'm really missing. Alas. I do at least get to see some family while I'm home.

Camp's over :( The kids left yesterday morning, and staff have started to leave today. There were a lot of goodbyes that weren't really goodbyes because you aren't sure when people are leaving so you say goodbye to them but then see them around for another half hour and its awkward. Gotta love those-it takes the sting out of parting. Off to Boston tomorrow for a few days, then back home to pack up and head back to school-oh boy, i have to take a math course. kinda scary

Anyway, parting is such sweet sorrow, or so I've heard on tv.

Ok, so I've pretty much established that I am actually over the girl that I thought was attractive but wasn't really into otherwise. That makes me fell good-perhaps I'm less shallow than I feared.

I'm pretty sure I'm mostly over the girl I actually did have a little crush thing going for (though it wasn;t really that much of a crush compared to others I've had in the past). I still find her attractive (physically and personalitywise) in a weird, "she's-so-opposite-of-me" kind of way, but I'm not harboring a thing for her anymore.

I still kinda like the third girl, but its a bit strange bc its not exactly a crush. It kinda sits on that border between friendship and romance that I often find myself on, but I really think I could be really cool just being good friends with her (which I hope happens, despite the geographical distance we're likely to have post-camp).

Ok, should do some work now-hope you've enjoyed installment 387 of my heart's ups and downs

Yay, so I think I'm over two of the three girls (see below). Details soon.

(continuation of previous post)
Camp does weird things to you. Like as you know, I've never been one into having flings or anything like that. And I came to camp totally like 'there's no way I'm starting anything with anyone here' since I'm not going to see them again (or at least not very much) after we leave. And I didn't start anything with anybody, but the appeal of doing so definitely grew after a while. I dunno, being in this bubble (speaking of which, actual bubbles are flying by my window now, but that's a different story) changes your perspective on things, and it can be kind of isolating, making you crave some companionship. Now that we have a week left though, I am kinda glad that I didn't become ivolved with someone because now I don't have to do the whole goodbye thing with them, but I do still kinda have that whole "what could have been?" thing going on in my head as well. :) sigh

Aarg, such a dork.

So you know how usually there's some girl that I kinda get interested in and then I develop like a big crush but then nothing comes of it and its this whole emotional rollercoaster (a good song, by the way; as is "rollercoaster of love", which I think is actually called "love rollercoaster"). Well this summer was slightly different. I think it was because I couldn't figure out who I "should" like that instead of one girl, there were kinda three that I was kinda interested in in different ways. There was one who I think really "should" have been my crush, not that anything would have come of it, but various circumstances kind of ruled her out. There was a second one who I was just physically attracted to but I know I wouldn't really click with personalitywise; plus she's seeing someone anyway, so I'm glad I got over her. There was a third person who I do like despite being very different from, but I discovered recently that she is seeing someone as well, so that won't pan out. Not that I necessarily wanted it to pan out in the first place, as I will probably explain tomorrow.

Dude, that's like 3 girls. I feel so emotionally promiscuous. What is happening to me? I've become such a horrible person (don't worry, I don't actually think that makes me a horrible person, but still...). Such a dork.

("Roller-coaster, of love, yeah! Roller-coaster, of love!")

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (the new version) is weird. and funny.
Has Johnny Depp ever played a normal character?

So I've discovered I've developed somewhat of a paternalistic instinct for my staff (Dude, I have a staff!), which is interesting since some of them are older than me. One of them had to leave yesterday, and I felt really bad, bc he was good at his job and bc I didn't get to say goodbye. Plus, I actually like them all, him included, so its kinda sad not having him around. Some other staff members were pretty bummed about it too, which in turn makes me feel bad for them. alas

Aargh-i have to take a crash math course in a month and I haven't studied. If only I knew some people who were good at math...

Also, saw a few minutes of the show "Numb3rs" last night, about a young math wiz who helps his federal agent brother solve crimes. How come none of my math friends do that? Or do they...?

Sorry about the infrequency of my posts

P.S.
Hi Mexican Muse!