So i have another ambiguous I dont intend for it to be a date and don't think she thinks it is but i'm not quite sure thing coming up tomorrow.

And if you've been wondering why i haven't been blogging, which i don't think you were, i blame it on (laziness and) an insanely busy workload. at least i have my girlfriend. oh wait, she's not...nevermind :)

ok so i know i haven't been keeping up with this recently. School and whatnot has been keeping me really busy (have 800 or more pages of material to read each week plus other things to do). So school is what's occupying most of my time. It's also getting cold, which is expected but not welcomed :)

Also today or yesterday i had a mini revelation that when I pray/worship i kind of take a tone of tallking at God (i.e. treating Him as if He were far away and i was sending a message off to Him) instead of talking to Him (as if He were right there, which of course He is). Just wanted to share that

First day of school! (well first day for me, as i don't have any Monday classes-score!).

And one of my most favoritest people in the world should be back in town today :)

So hears a rundown/update on my life:

Got to see my brothers before i left MD. That was really cool. The oldest seems to have picked up a talent for picking up women that i did not inherit, as evidenced by his interactions with the waitress at the restaurant we were at. Not that I would be picking up random people left and right if i had the ability, but it is still interesting to see.

I'm gonna be an uncle! (courtesy of the other brother).

New apartment is nice. My room is messy, partially bc its small and i haven't figured out where to put everything yet (and mainly bc i m messy), but the rest of the place is sweet. and i get cheap rent for having the small room.

My new roommate is unbelievably handy, which i may have mentioned before. And he doesn't even think its a big deal that he's building all these really cool things for the place.

Lost one Weld 12 freshman year roommate to Columbia (though he visited last weekend and will again today, so i may end up seeing him as much as i did when he was in town :)) and another to Philly, but regained a third, the cool KK (no jokes please), who i'm living with again as he starts the History program.

Most of my friends from grad school seem to be back in town, though my closest friend from the program is not coming up until next week (miss you, in case you're reading) and i havent yet seen another though she and I (Ms. J.L.) are suppose to get together today.

So yeah thats most of the new stuff in my life. not too shabby (as a fellow grad student told me once, "sufficiently shabby")

ok so not quite as advanced on either the paper or my comparative politics class as i wanted to be, but oh well. still doable.

Yay! friends are back in town! (well not all of them yet, but several). Happiness. So makes up for the fact that my foot has been hurting for over a week (and all i did was a little extra walking in DC-what gives, i wonder)

The class of '04 rocks! (as does their significant others-not leaving you out C.I. You probably don't read my blog anyway though, but J might). Went out w/ some old roommates (actual and honorary) on Saturday night, and some HRCF/Soulfood folk last night. Good times were had all around.

Gettiing the apartment in order AND getting inspiration (thank God-no really, I am giving Him credit for any breakthroughs coming my way) for my paper. Not too shabby start to this new school year.

so i think i've done more today than ive done in a single day in a long time (and its not even 4pm yet). took the redeye train from dc to boston, signed my lease, got my stuff moved in, got stung in the big toe by a wasp (or yellowjacket or some such creature-not particularly fun, with the stinging then the aching then the PAIN and the hurting and the why why, glavin).


(imaginary gold star to anyone who recognized that impression).

Back in Cambridge! (or maybe Somerville. either way, in the area).

Getting hurricane rains. perhaps this will keep me in and let me continue actually working on my paper.

Haven't gotten any comments on the blog recently :(

Finally got around to talking (over IM) to a few people I hadn't talked to in a long time (a college friend and some folks from Kamp). Catching up rocks!

Also, a friend from college is gonna be back in Boston again this fall, which is pretty cool-I'd like to catch up with her, and I feel like we didn't hang out as much as we should have in college.

Plus I get to potentially get in touch with the girl I met in Detroit (no, its nothing more than just a friendly thing. yes, i did manage to actually meet someone in a social setting). Other than the school part itself (which hopefully will be interesting too, despite my disillusionment with political science of a few months ago), going back to school might just be fun.

Wow! i've worked for like 2 days in a row. this paper might be written this year. sweet.

we'll see.

Hmm, i'm starting to miss folks. My friend who was in DC for the summer (who i only went to see once :( ) is leaving after this week, and i don't know many other folks here (i've only seen my younger older brother once and havent seen my dad or oldest brother at all this summer). Granted this is largely bc of my laziness, and that usually i'm fine w just sitting around by myself, esp if i have net access, but sometimes even i like contact. I also havent been talking online as much with the people i usually talk to (though did have one long late night IM convo the other night that was good, like the old days). Have reconnected w/ one old friend after a long time which has been really cool. Looking forward for when folks are back in Cambridge and hopefully can catch up and stuff.

Hmm, i'm starting to miss folks. My friend who was in DC for the summer (who i only went to see once :( ) is leaving after this week, and i don't know many other folks here (i've only seen my younger older brother once and havent seen my dad or oldest brother at all this summer). Granted this is largely bc of my laziness, and that usually i'm fine w just sitting around by myself, esp if i have net access, but sometimes even i like contact. I also havent been talking online as much with the people i usually talk to (though did have one long late night IM convo the other night that was good, like the old days). Have reconnected w/ one old friend after a long time which has been really cool. Looking forward for when folks are back in Cambridge and hopefully can catch up and stuff.

Hmm, i'm starting to miss folks. My friend who was in DC for the summer (who i only went to see once :( ) is leaving after this week, and i don't know many other folks here (i've only seen my younger older brother once and havent seen my dad or oldest brother at all this summer). Granted this is largely bc of my laziness, and that usually i'm fine w just sitting around by myself, esp if i have net access, but sometimes even i like contact. I also havent been talking online as much with the people i usually talk to (though did have one long late night IM convo the other night that was good, like the old days). Have reconnected w/ one old friend after a long time which has been really cool. Looking forward for when folks are back in Cambridge and hopefully can catch up and stuff.

How is it possible to have so little motivation :)?

for some reason, going to bed late and waking up (relatively) early makes you tired. who woulda thought?

So this new Macbook of mine isn't half bad. And its nice and portable, as a laptop should be. Cool. (I still fancy PCs though, but will give credit where credit is due).

Sometimes it feels wrong how quickly things go back to normal after something bad happens.

So is it weird for a guy (me, for example) to be more comfortable with a female doctor than with a man? Not that I was uncomfortable today (part 2 of my checkup-in good health apparently), but just relatively a bit more comfortable with a woman.

Also, dont you just love getting a physical and then stopping at McDonald's for lunch :)

Went to the Library of Congress today. They couldn't find what I was looking for, but were nice, and directed me toward where the items might be.

Its hard to think of someone you knew and who was the same age as you as being gone.

Found out this morning that a cool person, who i only got to know briefly, died this past weekend. May she be with God.

I didn't make the sexy list in In Style magazine :(
I checked both C and R and I'm not to be found.

Alicia Keys did however (under "Music Maker"), so its forgiven :)

It works! It works! (my new modem arrived today, and now i have both regular and wireless internet). Plus itunes works now!

!

Went to the doctor and the dentist today. I should be so healthy now! Also got some good news from my brother.

not too bad, not too bad

"And if it's real,well I don't want to know"

So somehow calling Verizon tech support (a few times) in order to get my wireless working resulted in me having no internet access at all until sometime this week. :(

Yay! i got my new computer!!

So I've finally done it. I've crossed over. I bought...a...Mac! They come with a little camera built in (i played w/ jon's sister's mac at their house for a few minutes) and you can do neat things with your picture. and I hear that they're reliable and all that stuff too. Happy Happy joy joy.

so, the other night i actually managed to interact, in a social setting, with girls i had just met. may even meet up with one of them in Boston. note that this is just in a friendly sense, not romantically, but still...

is it wrong to use a dog as a rug? I didn't actually do this, mind you, but i was tempted with jon's dog-he's so fluffy. but i figured that the dog might not appreciate it.

Went out w/ jon to meet up w/ a couple of people he knows in Detroit at like this pool hall type place. It was actually pretty fun. I'm not usually that into the going out and socializing w/ random people, but there were a couple who actually were really cool and we had good conversations (and i did not actually play pool). I also got a free soda :)

YAY! I reconnected with a friend of mine from middle school who i've talked to once in the last 10 or so years. So very excited to be able to talk to her again.

Still in Michigan w/ Jon (he gave me permission to use his name). Very nice house. We've played frisbee (land and water), seen Superman and Lady in the Water (weird movie) and done other fun stuff. More details later.

In Michigan baby! Flying is cool-like i looked down and saw a football field that looked this big (note: "this" refers to roughly the size of a small coin of some kind). My friend has a very nice house (and spacious, like seriously) in one of those "one of the richest places in the US" places. And...AND, i played frisbee. in a lake. a wet lake.

Going to Detroit tomorrow! Visiting my old roommate for a few days.

so i've not shaved in a week and a half or so. first i had the cool stubble thing going, then it went into an awkward more than stubble but not quite beard thing, but now its in cool (dare i say sexy?) actual beardness. oh yeah

"that's ok cause so are you"

Yay! I thought I lost my cell phone yesterday, which would have been a bit of a hassle, but it was discovered safe, sound. Now I can go back to not actually calling most of the #s i have saved in it. But i have the option to call now, which is important :)

"Wanna be my lady in the water?" If a gentleman asked a woman this, would it be:
a. good
b. bad
c. creepy
d. other (please specify)

Advice for all you out there-if you start dancing to "My Cherie Amour" in the supermarket, someone may walk by and see you. Just a tip.

Any suggestions for things to do in DC over a weekend?

Today may be one of those not leaving the apartment days. Me and the world wide web to keep me company.

The tapwater tastes a bit strange today. I suspect a communist plot to contaminate our precious bodily fluids.

(lest anyone think i'm weird, or at least weirder than i really am, i hope you get the movie reference)

Saw the original episode of Miami Vice Saturday night on NBC. It was great!
SPOILER ALERT: If you haven't seen it, stop reading here, as I'm about to list some highlights.


Crockett (Don Johnson)'s partner, played by Jimmy Smits, perishing in an explosion from a rigged car during a drug deal. And unlike those shows that just cut from the actor to the explosion to imply the person is being killed, they actually showed, for a split second, the guy (or more likely a dummy dressed like him) fly out of frame from the force of the explosion.

Crockett punching his new partner Tubbs after Tubbs saying something out of line to him, then Tubbs, after accepting Crockett's apology, suddendly punching Crockett in return-good old male bonding.

Tubbs starting to go downstairs for ice on Crockett's houseboat after the punchfest to be greated by Crockett's pet Alligator!

Tubbs indignant racial attitude. See: "I know we all look alike to you"

Random breakdancers/ pop-lockers on the streets

The obligatory meeting bad guy in the strip club scene.

Tubbs and Crockett taking out several bad guys (who have automatic weapons) in a shootout without even having to duck behind anything.

Crockett and Tubbs meeting after Crockett, in his sportscar, chasing the guy who ends up being Tubbs who is driving a SPEEDBOAT (yes, the car on land is chasing the speedboat in the water). At one point, Crockett's car is flipped on its two left wheels then falls back onto all fours, all without even slowing down. Also Tubbs thinks he's escaped by hiding under a bridge, but of course when he starts to pull out from under it Crockett jumps down and lands behind him and punches Tubbs as he turns around.

the 80s. that's what they were like.

First time I heard a sermon that started by talking about Fear Factor.

Also had dinner w/ J-dawg and her boyfriend (as well as her sister and the boyfriend's friends). Twas good-we made calzones, chatted, all that.

Ah dreams. Had one this morning that involved me being in a class taught by Cornell West and being put in a group of other black guys (probably inspired by seeing the wedding party yesterday) for an assignment. Then I go into Harvard Square (I think) with a friend (I think) where I run into a girl that I used to have a crush on. She does that playful thing where she comes up behind me and puts her hands over my eyes and says something to me. I, having seen her reflection a few seconds before, am like "Hey ___" and she's like 'how did you know who it was?' I do confess to having caught a glimpse of her. I think we kinda flirted a bit more in the dream (remembe that this is more than I have done in real life with her or anyone else for that matter, and I'm pretty sure this particular girl in real life has no idea i used to like her). I then return to class and realize I've forgotten to do the assignment. I consider skipping out on the class (it was established at some point that we got two absent days during the semester) for fear of being called on during lecture.

So basically this dream combined my chronic unrequited crush-ing angst and my recurring fear of being caught unprepared in school (which has inspired many many dreams for some reason).

The streak continues. The Electric Slide has now been played at 103,247,322 black weddings :)

Seriously though, went to a wedding this morning. It was fun. Some highlights (in the sense of amusing me):

The pastor saying that one of the keys to a happy marriage was to keep passion in your bedroom. Then repeating it many times, emphasizing "your."

The best man putting the garter on the woman who caught the bouquet and her leg hiking very high up suddenly (I thought he was the one to do the hiking but my mom insists she did it herself).

The older guy with the big afro leading dances when most people were too shy to get up and move.

The bride's very enthusiastic response of "yes, I will!" to the vows (even more stark in contrast to the groom, who was obviously happy but spoke in a low voice that most of us couldn't hear).

The best man (if i heard right) saying " 'gratulations" to the groom during a toast.

The ringbearer (the grooms 9 yr old son) walking down the aisle with both flowergirls when the wedding party came back for the reception.

Cut my hair for the first time in almost a year. I've been meaning to do it for a while, and figured it'd be nice to be clean for the wedding i'm going to tomorrow. My head looks so small now though. On the bright side, should i choose to wear a hat at some point, i can.

So does the fact that my nose occasionally bleeds for no apparent reason make me a bit nerdy? Or am i that for other, non-nose reasons?

I seem to have little motivation to write this paper of mine.

So Israel has, according to reports, killed almost 200 civilians in Lebanon. I do understand that they need to secure their country and that if people were launching rockets into DC or Boston that were randomly falling in the city and sometimes killing people, we'd want to stop that and rightly so. But at what cost?

A military analyst for CBS said that, because Israel uses military force to recover its captured soldiers whereas the US only searches for them w/o using force, Israel places a greater value on "human life" than we do. Um, I somehow don't see killing a highly disproportionate number of citizens (and mainly civilians at that) in other countries to rescue a few represents a greater value placed on human life. It is placing a greater value on ISRAELI life, and by implication a lesser value on the lives of others.

There was also an ambassador from Israel who said that the difference between Israel and the groups like Hezbollah were that everytime Israel kills a civilian in one of their countries, its an accident and a great tragedy, whereas when they kill an Israeli citizen, its a victory. While I agree that the second half of statement is true of groups like Hezbollah and that that makes them morally worse in an important way, I think the first half of that statement vastly overstates the Israeli government's moral high ground. I don't think they purposely kill civilians, but when they do so accidentally its not because of a tragic mistake despite their utmost efforts to avoid so. They take calculated risks of hitting civilians to achive their goals, and it doesn't look like they are too hesitant to launch missiles or bombs that will, not only possibly, but probably kill civilians (sometimes if fairly large numbers as in Lebanon). They aren't trying to target civilians, but i doubt they are very broken up when they do, as long as they get their target.

Back in Maryland. Apartment hunting went well, but then didn't. After seeing 8 apartments in one day, we narrowed it down to 2. But just before leaving to go back to DC (yay 8 hour train rides!-no, really, they're fun when you have a lot of CDs) one of the other roommates had to pull out, so we had to start over. Some new places for us have been found, so its not a total loss by any means, but did put some wrinkles in our plans. Alas, such stuff happens.

Lots of apartments to look at tomorrow. Wish me well.

Also lots of girls dressing down around Cambridge due to the heat. Must avert eyes :)

Made it back to Boston. Good old 10 hour train rides (it usually takes 8 hours from DC, but this one was scheduled to go longer for some reason). At least it got here on time, as the train rarely does. Didn't get as much sleep as i wanted as the guy behind was doing the loudest (and kinda gross sounding) snoring i've ever heard in person. Also I think there was a girl on the train I know from Harvard, but I don't really know her that well and wasn't sure it was her, so i kinda walked by her and waited to see if she showed any signs of recognizing me. She didn't, but I hope she didn't think i was being rude (well maybe i was). Mainly i was just being awkward, as i tend to do.

So I'm currently praying for Gaza and Israel and Lebanon. At first I was somewhat sympathetic of Israel going to great lengths to recover their kidnapped soldier, even if other factors were at play. I've thought before about if i were president or head of some organization like the UN (yes, i have modest, realistic goals for life), I'd like to be able to guarantee the safety of my citizens all over the world, especially if they were doing something important, like UN relief work (on top of the horrors inflicted on the local people of places like Darfur, it also really saddens me when relief workers trying to help the situation are targeted as well, and i see agencies either just accept it or pull out, as I guess they don't have other viable options). I may have gotten the idea from a West Wing episode where, fairly early in the President's administration, there's a terrorist attact that kills American citizens and he is angry and wants to have some kind of big, as opposed to measured or proportional, response, evoking the protection of citizens of ancient Rome anywhere in the world.

But all that aside, this current Israeli response seems to be spiralling out of control. At first they were causing massive damage (and probably inflicting hardships on a lot of people, blowing up bridges and power stations and whatnot), but at least it seemed that people weren't dying. But now dozens of people have died, including those in the recent clashes in Lebanon, including civilians. Now I'm not really a utilitarian or anything like that, but causing the deaths of dozens of people in order to save one (now three, counting the two soldiers captured by Hezbollah) is pretty ridiculous in my opinion. Just to be clear, I'm also not one to blame Israel for everything-I'm actually pretty sympathetic to them a lot of the time, and in these conflicts I think that those who target civilians intentionally are worse than those who do not (though i think that discounting civilians as collateral damage is not that much better morally). I think the militants linked to Hamas and Hezbollah have a big part of the blame here, but i also hold Israel, as a state and one that portrays itself as the victim, to a higher standard (as I do the US in its war on terror, war in Iraq, etc). This means that I think they should show a LOT more respect for life, especially civilian life, even if their enemies might not and it may lessen the advantage that the Israel (or the US) has over their enemies. And when i talk about respect for life and especially for civilian life, I mean all of them, not just the ones that are Israeli (or US) citizens.

Pray.

getting ready to head up to cambridge this weekend to look at apartments. so apparently if you wait to book plan tickets a couple of days before your trip, they get expensive. who knew?

Going to a wedding in 2 weeks. My mom's friend's son is getting married to someone, so i'm going w/ mi madre. Finally gives me a chance to wear my suit. Though i probably won't be meeting any women (the thought of me and my mom scoping potential dates Wedding Crashers style is a little disconcerting). Or is it? Yes, yes it is.

i don't remember ever seeing a headbutt to the chest before.

Renewed desire to get to know God better

Yes! Internet is back! Now to mindlessly surf...

Yay! Power!

So power was restored around 4pm yesterday, right after i left for my second library trip to charge my phone, and a mere 47 hours after the initial failure. Apparently a neighbor went down to the work crew and talked to the manager. He claimed not to know that our power was still out (the rest of the area had it restored the morning after it went out but our neighborhood had not). This is despite the fact that the power company had a recording set up telling us when they expected our power to be restored (with the deadline shifting each time my mom called them). Assuming said power company has not made incredible advances in artificial intelligence (sorry, i've had that snide comment in my mind since yesterday), someone at the company did realize we were out of lights. Second, it seems that the reason we were out was that some guys had knocked some things loose during a previous repair job, so that the storm on the 4th finished dislodging whatever parts they had jarred. Oh well, its back on now so i'm happy.

Of course, we've since had problems with the phone lines, meaning my internet isn't working and i'm am back at the library yet again :)

So still without power at my house (in the library at the moment). The 11:30 am deadline for having the lights back on seems to have not held. Oh well, there have been a few benefits. Besides listening to a lot of music (Alanis Morrisette has a few issues), I've had romantic candlelight dinners the last two nights. Granted they were alone (unless you count my mom in the other room, though I don't think that adds to the romance :)), but still, not something i usually do. Alas. It is interesting to just have some quiet time though and reflect or whatnot, so it hasn't been a total loss. Still, electricity and hot water would be nice.

So yesterday (the 4th) around 5pm we had a storm and our power went out. We're estimated to get it back by 11:30am tomorrow (the 6th). In the meantime, it's been giving me a chance to catch up on my CDs. Listened to two Run DMC albums that i had bought a while back (really entertaining even though its about 20 years later), the first EPMD album (with a lot of samples and beats that have been reused in later songs by people like Jay-Z and Nas among others), a live Michael W. Smith album (a Christian artists whose CD i picked up a long time ago and initially didn't like that much but have grown to really enjoy, especially as some of the songs are used by Harvard Radcliffe Christian Fellowship and thus have a deeper meaning for me now that i've sung them w/ others) and a Live (the band) album, though i did fall asleep listening to that one (not bc it was boring but just bc it was late at night and dark). Currently at the library. Wish me luck :)

Went out w/ CB and her boyfriend today (they;re in town for her friend's wedding). We had vegetarian indian food. it was good, as was seeing them. I found out there was written music for drums, dashing my hopes of becoming a drummer. Sadness (not really though).

So with the Fourth coming up, i was thinking about this whole flag burning amendment thing, which failed to pass by one vote in the Senate. Now I understand that people feel strongly about it, but i really don't see how so many people, especially legislators, don't see making such an amendment as a big infringement on free speech. Granted a lot of them were probably supporting it just for political gain and not true conviction, but still the fact that it came so close to passing Congress is kinda scary. And even the argument that burning the flag is action and not speech (i think i heard Diane Feinstein make that argument to explain her support for the amendment this morning), why should someone not be allowed to burn a piece of their own property if they like. Now, I don't think its generally a good idea to insult people that way. I personally find other things more offensive, like burning crosses (not just because I'm black but also because I'm Christian), but i think there's a big difference btwn something being offensive and it being worthy of outlawing. And really, even moreso that the stuff congress often considers, arent there more important things to be done. Alas.

So i felt kind of bad-my friend (lets call him "G"), had this important meeting earlier this week in Boston (concerning money for youth jobs, which is really important for them for keeping kids out of trouble and danger over the summer), but i didn't call him to see how it went. and when i saw him online just now, i was about to IM him but he called me before i got a chance. Not that he seemed upset or anything about me not calling, but i did want to do so this time before he called me. Darn my lack of effective concern. hey, there he is now on the phone.

"We know something about corruption in Massachusetts"
"We do it well, we produce something"-from a discussion on Inside Washington on PBS, comparing corruption related to Katrina and New Orleans to corruption in the Big Dig in Boston.

yay! my friend CB from grad school is coming to town this weekend. Sure she's coming for her friend's wedding (which i'm not invited to just because i don't know the couple or any of the people other than CB herself :)), but hopefully i'll get to see her before she leaves. Yeah, that probably would involve getting out of the house. We'll see how that one works.

Reading Economics for Dummies. If I still don't get it after this book, I may have to rethink a few career plans...

Ok, first of all, I do hope the kidnapped Israeli soldier is and remains ok. Second, am I completely off-base for thinking this Israeli incursion is a bit of overkill. Now i know that i dont know a lot about the Israeli/Palestinian situation at the moment, and i realize that a lot more than the soldier was considered when authorizing this show of force, but its hard to keep sympathy for Israel when they take such moves, especially as they often seem to take the view that loss of civilian life is acceptable (though i don't know how much that applies to the current operation, but it wouldn't be surprising if civilians are or will be killed in this operation). Again, I dont know too much about the situation, so if anyone who does has comments, please let me know. I like to be educated.

So am i suppose to care about the Star Jones/View breakup and potential feud that is brewing? Somehow I do.

Also, there seems to be some sunshine outside, which is so ruining my excuse for being reclusive. I guess I could always say i was "working on my paper." Yeah, i might stick with that one.

so it looks like it will basically rain all week in the DC area. Which will likely hurt my already shaky chances of leaving the apartment. oh well. perhaps it will help me write this paper i'm supposed to be working on. Hey, anyone know anything about agricultural policies and interest groups in Zambia or other southern African countries? (specifically concerning genetically modified foods). Anyone? Come on, people :)

The billionaires are so upstaging me. First, Bill Gates and all, now Warren Buffet is giving away most of his fortune (mainly to Bill Gates' foundation, particularly). Now i need to make a few billion and then give it away. Anybody want to contribute a few (million) dollars?

Yep, i did in fact make it out twice yesterday. The World Refugee Day thing at National Geographic was good. Makes me feel like I should do something-suggestions are welcomed

This could be a landmark day-i may leave the apartment TWICE. I'll let you know how it turns out.

Also, scholarly articles that include a reprint of a Doonesbury strip are cool.

So it's supposed to storm for about the next 2 days, which may put a bit of a cramp on my plans to get out this weekend. Not that that was ultra-likely to begin with. Alas.

At least I have Barbara Walters and the View (wait, that doesn't come on on the weekends. :( )


Perhaps I'll start working out this weekend, as I am kinda out of shape lately.
Note: "kinda" means extremely, "lately" means all my life.

So Ghana just beat the US 2-1 and eliminated the American team from the World Cup. I have mixed feelings. On one had i was kinda going for the US (in large part because I'd like for soccer to catch on here), but on the other I'm a fan of Africa and Ghana looks like the team with the best shot of doing something in the Cup. On the one foot, the US didn't play very well, so it doesn't feel wrong that they lost, except that on the other foot the winning goal was on a penalty kick for what in replay did not look like a foul. on the (hmm, out of appendages) head, though, even without the goal, the score would have been 1-1, and i don't think a tie would have helped the US, but on the , um, some other body part you can use in soccer, who knows how the game would have gone had that goal not happened. Alas, maybe next time-go Ghana!

So is it unacceptable for me (being a guy and all) to prefer watching "The Tuesday Night Book Club" over the third quarter of potentially the last game of the NBA finals? Just wondering.

Also, I really like PBS' Frontline shows. They actually help me understand stuff a lot better, and teach me things I didn't know. This week's was on Dick Cheney, specifically his moves and influence post-9/11. It was amusingly entitled "The Dark Side" (though this was a reference to a comment he made a few days after the attacks about how the new war would be fought). Perhaps not a neutral news piece, but as usual very well done.

So my dreams often have a stream of consciousness, the end has nothing to do with the beginning kind of thing, but this mornings was a bit much. My dream (or maybe dreams as i'm not sure if it was one or more than one) included superman, the last week of college, a girl i worked with at summer camp, sketchy parties, Stargate SG-1, dodgeballs, a girl from grad school (all in that order i believe) and many other things i can't probably remember now. and then when i woke up and looked at my phone, i thought it was highlighting the number of the girl from camp in my dream (i eventually realized that i don't have that girl's number in my phone, and the one highlighted was actually ANOTHER girl i worked with at camp whith the same (though differently spelled) first name. Weird.

Hmm, perhaps i should go out of the house today. I did get out a couple of times this weekend (to the store and Church), but that mainly involved walking to and from the car. After the loooooong MA winter, I should enjoy some of the MD heat.

Should also start my research paper at some point :)

So is it bad that i find myself rooting for the majority black teams in the World Cup. Granted most of them are from Africa, a continent i like to root for in other contexts (or from Trinidad and Tobago, the smallest country represented). Thus there is an underdog factor as well. Nonetheless, if it was an underdog nonblack team, i'm not sure i'd be as excited. Hmm...

(I'm also torn about rooting for Ghana or the US in their upcoming faceoff, since i think at this point at most one of those two can advance).

Saturday morning cartoons just arent' what they used to be. Among other things, they have new versions of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Batman, but they seem to lack the depth of story and writing that the older ones (especially Batman) had in their heydays. Instead they substitute more action and flashiness, but i feel us 24 year old viewers are a little shortchanged. Oh well, good thing i don't usually get up this early on Saturdays.

Bill Gates is making me a fan. It looks like he's serious about this whole helping out the world thing (in case you didnt hear, he announced that he'll take more of a backseat at Microsoft to work more on his and his wife's Foundation stuff). Just imagine how many lives he could (and probably has already) save and/or improve. Bill and Melinda and Bono and Jeff Sachs are getting major brownie points with me (which is of course why they're doing it all :)) Regardless of the criticisms put their way (like Bono being self-righteous or annoying or Sachs not producing legitimate scholarship) their hearts and heads seem in the right place, and they seem to be doing major concrete good. That rocks.

So I've been trying to get into the World Cup, watching it on the local spanish language channel (the various ways of yelling "Gol!" after a point is scored is indeed entertaining). I can't say that I've been converted to a soccer fan, though it can be enjoyable if one of the teams interests me (the US for obvious reasons, Brazil because they have so much expectation behind them, various former colonies and small countries because of the underdog factor, etc). Off of that last point, its kind of cool to think of the larger geopolitical implications (yeah, I'm a bit of a political science nerd aren't I) of the matches. Iran playing a game in Nuremburg seemed a bit ironic given all of the stuff with Israel lately. Angola playing its former colonizer Portugal, etc. I also enjoy trying to figure out which team is which when i miss the beginning of games (looking at names if i catch a close-up, trying to guess from the composition of the team, etc. And the Spanish advertisements that unexpectedly include American names (*talking in Spanish* "McDonald's! *more Spanish*); that's fun.

So it was recommended that i look at some online dating sites, which i did, mainly for run. I think most of them are not for me, thogh i did find an interesting one for Christian folk which was interesting, and there appeared to be some interesting people.

I'm still a bit skeptical about the enterprise though. I guess I'm just a bit distrustful of the prospect of trying to start anything with people that i don't really know and who could be misrepresenting themselves (though i'm not sure why they would, but still its a possibility). I think my ideal relationship is still to develop something with someone i've known for a while and consider a good friend (both because i'd be confident that i really know the person and because a large part of what i consider to be an ideal relationship is to have someone who was a really good friend, with the romantic stuff added on).

So i kind of doubt that anything more than browsing will come f rom the websites, but we'll see.

So as a lot of you already know, I was into a certain young lady for a good period of the last school year. I thought we might be a good match. She was quirky (arguably more so than me, which is almost scary).And more importantly, she is an incredibly strong Christian, which was really attractive. Actually that was also one of the things that made me kind of nervous, as i didn't want to be a bad influence.
So i attempted to hang out and get to know her and eventually to indicate my feelings (kinda) but it just didn't work out. I don't know if she just wasn't interested but tried to let me down easy (as best she could) or if she just didn't realize I was interested (i tried to indicate it as strongly as I ever do, but that is still kind of subtle i guess). Either way it didn't work out. I feared I was becoming a bit bitter for a while (it felt like my intentions were being ignored, which may be worse than being rejected-I haven't decided yet), but I'm pretty much over it now i think. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt, and she is still a great person (which is why i liked her in the first place). Oh well, whatever God intends, he'll bring about.

So i kind of developed some disillusionment with political science over the last year, especially the last semester. Besides my own so so performance with the discipline, a few things have come into question in my mind. One, taking two semesters of statistics has, more than anything else perhaps, left me skeptical of any attempts to use statistics to make a point or prove something. Sure lots of people (myself in the future included probably) use it sloppily, but even the best stuff out there often seems sensitive to assumptions used, specific measurements, etc. I'm just not convinced that it really reveals much.

I also took two formal modeling/game theory courses. While I actually liked game theory, I sometimes wonder about its contributions to a lot of the works where it is used. It is nice to formalize logic and identify assumptions, etc, explicitly, but at the same time it really just seems like taking what you have elsewhere said in words (or what you should have said in words but didn't) and saying it in math instead. This may make the logic clearer for some, especially the mathematically inclined, but i'm not sure it really adds that much to a lot of papers. Plus, I feel like people use it to "prove" things, which i don't think is necessarily legitimate, as the results you get seem totally dependent on the assumptions you put in. I mean as long as this is acknowledged that's fine, and useful insights can still be drawn (for instance by showing that certain results follow from a range of plausible specifications of a model), but I feel like people are often not upfront about the limitations, whether intentionally or not.

In general, I think that political science thinks of itself a lot like economics, trying to find rules that generally explain behavior/actions. In economics though, there are often a lot of actors such that even if some deviate, they balance out and do behave in predictable ways. I feel like in political science however, there are often too few actors for this to be valid, especially if the unit of analysis is country. Then a few actors (controlled in many instances by a few people) have much power to change results, and it is hard to model processes that depend on the whims or choices of a few people (often in complicated or uncertain situations). There may be some topics of political science (voting behavior perhaps) where these arguments/techniques are valid, but for comparative government/international relations i fear they're not.

All this being said, my game theory and stats professors were obviously very very brilliant people, as were other profs i have had. Concerning the former two sets, I assume that if they are so smart they must also see a greater importance/usefulness to their disciplines, so i am somewhat willing to take them at their word, so to speak. With a lot of the people who do more substantive stuff, however, I feel that often the thing that impresses me about them is not their use of quantitative or formal methods (even when they themselves believe in them and employ them often) but just their knowlege of history, organizations, political actors, etc. I sometimes wonder if i should just focus on learning a lot of particulars about the places/topics i want to study instead of focusing so much on the techniques, but i know i'm expected to know the techniques, and they may actually be useful down the road (plus they are paying me, even if rather modestly, to learn them, so i should probably give it a shot). Perhaps some time off and/or independent study (though i don't know how long I will keep up the latter) will give me a new (hopefully more positive?) perspective-we shall see.

So we had to move out of our apartment by June 1st. It was fun being there. Should have cleaned more (sorry about that). Also should have spent more time with the folk. Might have been my last time to live with J and 'gito :( so i should have taken more atvantage of that. Plus i didn't get to know the other roommates as well as I would have liked. We had some good times though (surprisingly many while watching "Grey's Anatomy" which seemed to bring us all together). Some close friends who weren't roommates (most notably JB, who of course was my roommate for four years) also will be gone-sadness. Get to live with Kubes next year though, which will be cool. And some of the folk will still be around, so all is not lost.

So as mentioned yesterday, I've finished up my first year of grad school. Academically, it was kind of, meh. I think my grades will be ok (though perhaps i shouldnt speak too soon) due in large part to some kind game theory professors (most awesome academic couple ever!). Still need to do that research paper for my International Political Economy (IPE) class. In general though, i realized that i really need to improve my study habits. The procrastination and all-nighters/last minute cramming don't work nearly as well in grad school as they did in undergrad. Especially second semester, I found myself not completing assignments or being woefully unprepared for an exam. Oh well. I also became somewhat disillusionsed with several aspects of political science as a discipline, but I can get into those later. I'm trying to get ahead with some stuff this summer in hopes that it will help me come school in the fall.

So one year of grad school is down and...well, it wasn't bad. I really liked my classmates; as usual the people were the best part of school for me. The GGGs (the Gorgeous Girls of Government, as i named them) were really cool, though we didnt all hang out as a group that much as the year went on. Maybe I will try to get us all together in the fall, though that would take effort and me organizing things, both of which rarely happen. JDawg is in DC this summer, so i'm glad I'll have her to hang out with here. I may visit/stay with CBear in Cambridge at some point (i have some loose ends to take care of there at some point). And (hmm, havent thought of a nickname for this person yet that she would find acceptable-you know who you are :)) and I will likely IM until the wee hours of the morning like we usually do (she's been an amazing friend by the way-who would have thought that I would find someone who was both so much like me and an attractive girl-go figure). So yeah, friends, cool.

next time...my first year of grad school: academics (not quite as cool, but oh well)

Hey all-I'm Back!!!
So I've been a bit busy/lazy and not updating for a long time, but hopefully that will change now (esp. since I really have nothing to do at the moment). So there are lots of stuff that I should (and will soon, barring unusual circumstances) talk about, like: my love life, or lack thereof, particularly w/ relations to a certain girl who it didn't work out with (sigh); my year in school, goals for next year, disillusionment (is that a word?) with political science; being in Maryland; etc.

But for right now, I'll just say how happy I am that I finally have internet access at home now!

so i didn't go anywhere for spring break but at least caught up on sleep. which was good at the time but made me feel kinda crummy once i started skipping it again.

Sorry for the lack of posting.
Currently on spring break.
More to come shortly.

If you're not interested in academics, the following might be fairly boring, but if you are, please continue.

So i went to see another grad student present his paper, and a couple of the profs who were there were debating whether he should use less technical language in order to attract a larger audience. I feel in general that a lot of academics (and social science in particular, as that's what I'm familiar with) unnecessarily uses jargon. I understand if certain words have specific meanings within a discipline and therefore it makes sense to use them, but it seems that a lot of the time the terminology actually obscures the meaning. Like when political science papers talk about 'institutions', what does that mean? there are many examples like that, i feel, when the meaning ofthe term is abstracted away, and often its not clear in a specific instance or paper what specifically they mean. (BTW, this isn't a critic on the specific paper from today, as the author explained what he meant and the limits of his measures and whatnot, just a general peeve that I was reminded of). Especially as someone who is not familiar with a lot of the literature, I feel that a good chunk of my time is taken up just trying to figure out what these people are talking about when they use terms that don't have an obvious meaning (or have many meanings) for the average person. I probably do it too when i write, but i hope not.

Given my apparent failure in the attempting to date department as of late :), I think I may take a break from girls for a while. At least as far as actively pursuing anyone or seeking someone to pursue. Don't know how long it will last, but for the time being...

So CF last night was really good. Among other things, it confirmed that Radiohead was right. "God loves His children" (Bonus points for anyone who knows which song that's from).

So concerning the thing w/ the person, I kinda have the impression that either she's not interested and is hoping that ignoring it will cause it to go away, or she doesn't realize what's going on. Either, however, doesn't bode particularly well. Alas.

Hi all.
So I am good in general. a bit tired still (or again) but good.
Concerning the situation, I got a smal glimmer of hope today, but i still don't know how it will turn out. If only I could figure out what the other party was thinking :)
I have some pretty great friends. That's kind of awesome isn't it.

Thank you God. You're very good to me.

Wondering if I should be feeling a bit unloved (not in general, but from a particular individual). Alas,

Didn't sleep in the gov building last night :)
Still waiting on...
I'm not sure how to interpret the lack of response. Maybe its just a busy time. Still...a bit discouraging, I do admit. I guess its largely out of my hands now though.

tired. slept in the gov building again last night. why do i do this to myself, I ask in my head. why am i asking myself questions so formally, i ask in reply. So i can blog about them, I respond, still internally. You are such a dork, I respond to my response.

My friends birthday dinner was good last night-he invited a few extra people along. We had good food and times. And a certain other friend is back in the States now, and I am looking forward to talking to him (after talking to him like every day for a year or so?, its been about two weeks (not counting last night) so I probably have a lot of catching up to do).

Ok, TODAY is unbelievably cold outside. My face started to go numb during the walk over to the gov. building. Now i'm inside and reasonably warm though, so its ok.

Happy birthday to one of my favorite thai loving, math-doing, grad school getting into former roommates!

a watched pot never boils, the saying says. I don't think that's true. Perhaps I should run an experiment of some sort.

So if the weather report is to be believed, it is ridiculously cold outside right now. Alas.

As I wake up this morning, the angst meter is on low to moderate :)

Got to see an old friend (and his brother, also a friend) in New Haven last night. It was good times-went out to a bar for a while (after my roommate renewed his assertion that I need to either start drinking or learn how to drive), where the same roommate didn't get us into any fights despite yelling things to antagonize the Yale crowd:)
Then we rented The Island, though we all fell asleep on it at some point (though I woke up to see most of it minus 10 or 20 minutes in the middle). Drove back today-its snowing now :(, but we had good times so its ok.

Wondering whether I should get my hopes up or down concerning the other thing is a bit less fun, but I guess thats how this works. Hope I'm not putting her in an awkward position or anything like that-I wouldn't want to make her needlessly uncomfortable.

Playing the waiting game. It's cool though. I think maybe there's something there, maybe there isn't-I do wish I could tell though. But if things stay the way they have been that will still be cool (of course, I would prefer more, but that isn't up to me). I do hope that things won't be too awkward or anything if nothing more comes of it-that would be something i'd regret. Oh well, out of my hands right now.

Going to New Haven tonight, visiting an old friend. good times.

Been kind of slack on the posts I know-its been a busy few weeks. Will trhy to have some more in the future

hey.

Pulling almost all-nighters to read for class is probably not the most productive way to spend your time.

Still being patient with...

Back on earth, so to speak.
must have patience

Cold (health and temperature-wise).
happiness on the inside.
Thinking it was what it seemed to be.

That's right, I'm happy.
I'm also tired from getting way to little sleep the past week.
But mainly very happy.

Elated

:) :)

We leave today for the Harvard Radcliffe Christian Fellowship retreat! May God guide and bless us (and you).

Oh no, i didn't blog today! Sorry all, I'm sure you were heartbroken to see no new post from me.

So apparently a bat was in our apartment-its gone now. Forgive me if i bite any of you in the next few days or so.

Soulfege concert tonight!

So it looks like I've gotten better concerning the hand thing. Yay! Always nice to get good medical news.

Classes have started again, so i should get on the ball, so to speak.

So really, I mean whats the big deal about sex anyway?

Oh yeah...

Only one class today, i think. Should do my research paper at some point.

Sometimes you learn a bit more about people than you wanted to know...oh well.
almost d-day. or v-day, as the case may be.

Communion was good today (as in I really 'got' it in a way I don't always). Strange dreams this morning.

The Business School is far away, and confusing, especially when its raining.
I've rediscovered my pet peeve about wet feet (I don't like them).
Life in general is pretty good though-and MexMuse is back online :)

At the Gov building all day probably

Is it bad when you start dreaming about IM and blog posts?
Second day of school
Got really good news last night about a friend of mine I haven't seen in a while :)

First day of classes! and of course I'm skipping the first one for a doctor's appointment :)

Still taking suggestions-see below

To borrow a phrase from a friend, my hormones are acting up :(
(is there a tactful way to say that w/o sounding like a 16 year old?)
Good thing I have my article of about 5 posts below (plug :)) to keep me grounded. Well, that and a complete lack of opportunity.

Kinda-date suggestions still being taken. thanks.

Thanks to poeple who've responded to my posts the last few days. I posted a reply to the 'Sex' one under the comments section for that post, in case you missed it. And if you guys have any more date suggestions, feel free to drop a line.

Our garbage disposal just got fixed (yay!) and hopefully the doctor will be able to fix my weird hand ailment thing today. So far so good eh.

So, if, hypothetically, one wanted to ask a girl out for a very low key, low-pressure, first date-like thing, what would be a good thing to do? Current suggestions include dinner and/or a musueum of some sorts (thanks for the idea btw, ms. you know who you are). Anything else come to mind to anyone?

Might I actually be productive today? Working on my long overdue paper. Probably going to the doctor on Monday (or at least asking about an appointment) for my weird finger swelling-aching-red marks thing going on for the past couple of weeks.

Been trying to decide which is the best album by A Tribe Called Quest: People's Instinctive Travels and the Paths of Rhythm, The Low End Theory, or Midnight Marauders.

The "who actually reads this" poll is officially over (for now anyway.) Thanks to all who participated. I appreciate you taking time out to read my ramblin...er, musings.

Speaking of which, this is an article I wrote a while back for the annual Sex issue of the Harvard Independent. I haven't actually read it in a while (including now-i just cut and paste :) but let me know what you think, if you have an opinion. Or if you just want to read (or skim) it, that's fine too (it's kinda long i guess).

I was generally a good kid growing up. I followed the rules, mainly for fear of getting in trouble, occasional lapses into peer-pressured shenanigans notwithstanding. Eventually, as my religious convictions grew, my behavior stayed fairly similar, bolstered by more compelling reasons than worry over being caught. Given my general reputation for goody two-shoeness and the fact that pretty much everyone in my town in rural South Carolina was at least nominally Christian, there wasn't really a stigma attached to not drinking, smoking, or cursing because of reasons based in faith. But there was one issue that I tended to skirt. That was the fact that I was saving myself for marriage.

Now, I'm no Super Christian (hmm, possible Saturday morning cartoon idea) or anything like that. I'm as sexually inclined as the average young adult. And, especially in high school, I felt the embarrassment that went along with being a male virgin. But, as much as I might have wanted there to be one, I have not found a convincing argument against what I see as clear rejections of premarital sex in the scriptures I believe convey the universally valid word of God. Of course, there are other areas in which such clearly held ideals have not prevented an occasional slip-up. Nevertheless, because sex is such a big deal, it is particularly important to me that I don't give in to temptation but uphold my faith in this particular area.

I know a lot of people don't share my beliefs about saving sex for marriage. Setting aside other issues (like current ethical and legal debates over who should or should not be allowed to marry), many people would argue that there is no rational reason why sex should be reserved for marriage. I won't try to make such an argument about why one should logically conclude that sex makes sense only in that context. My convictions are ultimately centered in my personal religious beliefs. If I weren't Christian, I sincerely doubt that I would have come to these conclusions. (Nor would I have even thought very deeply about what sex means, I imagine.) Many people who practice more liberal interpretations of Christianity don't hold these views. Nevertheless, I don't think that such an opinion about sex and marriage is invalidated because of its ultimate basis in religious teaching. Christianity is about faith. Though I may not fully understand the reasons behind all its tenets, I nevertheless trust their source. God is not arbitrary, nor does He require more than can or should be done by us, and He has our best interests in mind.

This in not to say that such beliefs are merely blind faith. While not necessarily conclusive from a secular standpoint, there are nonetheless valid non-religious arguments for why marriage makes sense as the place for sex. Marriage is a special institution (as is evident by the amount of passion being displayed by those on each side of the current debate over gay marriage), marked by an unparalleled commitment to be another person's mate and partner. Such a relationship entails great emotional intimacy and trust between these two people.

Likewise, sex is a very intimate act of unique physical union and closeness. To engage in sex with another individual means expressing an incredible amount of trust in one's partner, as you open yourself up to the potential of various types of harm. It therefore makes sense to save this act for the person you have deemed to be your confidant and partner for life, because you have concluded that he or she is indeed deserving of your trust; sex can be a symbol of the trust you share with him or her.

Of course, there are many people who place the level of commitment and trust necessary for sex at lower thresholds (a long-term relationship, an agreement of monogamy, or just some fondness for and attraction to the other party). Some take a simpler, "if it feels good, do it" approach to sex. Increasingly, this is becoming a dominant way of thinking in our culture. Things like hookups, casual sex, and friends-with-benefits are increasingly glamorized. Sex is just something that gives pleasure with little afterthought or responsibility. While there are individuals who are quite happy to live their sex lives this way and don't seem to harm themselves or others, I think that these loosening sexual practices have several negative consequences. First, the act of sex becomes less meaningful, vitiating a powerful means to express feelings of true love once it is found with another person. Second, I think such casual sex can contribute to a lessening of the value of interpersonal relationships more generally, as other people become more objectified as tools for personal pleasure.

Ironically, I also think that such moves towards making sex less important can actually achieve the opposite effect, making it overly important. As people become less restrictive concerning the appropriate contexts for sex, the pursuit of new sexual opportunities multiplies. Chasing new sexual partners and encounters becomes life's grandest pursuit. This can be seen through countless markers of pop culture like songs, movies, and television shows, which focus on the pursuit of sex and the extent to which individuals, especially young people, are willing to put all else aside and make fools of themselves in order to achieve a sexual encounter. One of the reasons I believe that Christian doctrines regulate or limit sex and other forms of gratification is to keep such things from becoming all-encompassing. Sex is supposed to be a pleasurable and desirable part of life, but not to the point of replacing its more important aspects.

It's easy to sound judgmental and holier-than-thou when espousing such views, but that is far from the case. I definitely understand the appeal of enjoying sex without guilt or inhibition. Though it may not be something I always discuss at the lunch table, I don't think that sex is fundamentally evil or dirty, as some religious people do, nor do I label people as such because they have different sexual norms from those I hold. I know and highly respect many people, both here and elsewhere, with differing views from mine. And now that unwanted pregnancies and STDs can be effectively prevented, sex has lost many of the more tangible dangers that once (sometimes) deterred individuals from having sex as much as they desired, lessening the need to examine the consequences before just going for it. There have definitely been times I've thought that life would be so much more enjoyable if I had only decided not to hold my particular convictions. Yet, I do hold these views as part of a larger faith. While I feel the reasons for waiting I have talked about above are persuasive, I don't expect them to convince everyone. In the end, I choose to wait until I'm married because I feel that my faith in and relationship with my God, and the eventual relationship I will have with my wife, are well worth the wait.

Day 14-LAST DAY YALL- of my "who reads this" poll(9** responses so far)-please follow instructions below-i'd appreciate it ever so much:

I'm curious who actually reads this.

If you are reading this, please leave me a note to let me know you were here. You can include your name or not-whichever you prefer (though it would be cool to know who you are). This applies to both people i do and do not know. thanks.

(ps-if you don't want to leave note here, just send me an email if you know my email address)
(**my response count includes people who replied by email or IM as well as on the blog, although there were two others who commented on the content without directly responding to my poll)

How do you put someone head firset into a sleeping bag, sit on their chest, and not get any jail time after that person dies. A US army interregator did this to an Iraqi general, and after being courtmarshalled and convicted of some lesser charges including negligent homicide (not being convicted of murder), it appears taht he at most will be reprimanded, fined a few thousand dollars and have his travel restricted for 60 days. So I know there are lots of mitigating circumstances when it comes to war (and also a possible CIA connection that was shrouded in mystery through the trial), but is a person's life really worth so little now? It frustrates me. Please feel free to share thoughts, and let me know if i'm missing something.

Day 13 (probably tbe next to last day) of my "who reads this" poll(9** responses so far-unless you count the two people who talked about it with me on IM last night but didn't leave a "comment" on hte blog itself)-please follow instructions below-i'd appreciate it ever so much:

I'm curious who actually reads this.

If you are reading this, please leave me a note to let me know you were here. You can include your name or not-whichever you prefer (though it would be cool to know who you are). This applies to both people i do and do not know. thanks.

(ps-if you don't want to leave note here, just send me an email if you know my email address)
(**my response count includes people who replied by email or IM as well as on the blog)

Could I be afraid of being in a relationship? (I'm not entirely sure why I'm posing that as a question as I already know that, to some extent at least, the answer is yes). I mean, a lot of me definitely wants to be in one. But as you may know, whenever the opportunity seems to arise, I do a lot of hesitating and second guessing and whatnot. Part of it is that its fun, for a while, to be in the early infatuation from a distance stage, where you can imagine your relationship in ideal form, without the complications that would arise from real life. But am I so afraid of going past that and facing reality that I sabotage or dismiss any relationship before its even begun? maybe...?

Day 12 of my "who reads this" poll(9** responses so far-I',, probably stop in a couple of days, so lets go out big)-please follow instructions below-i'd appreciate it ever so much:

I'm curious who actually reads this.

If you are reading this, please leave me a note to let me know you were here. You can include your name or not-whichever you prefer (though it would be cool to know who you are). This applies to both people i do and do not know. thanks.

(ps-if you don't want to leave note here, just send me an email if you know my email address)
(**my response count includes people who replied by email or IM as well as on the blog)

God loves me. That really is pretty amazing when you think about it. I mean, He's GOD. And yet He not only notices me, not only cares about me, but actually loves me. Wow. That is quite incredible.


Day 11 of my "who reads this" poll(9** responses so far-let's get back up to the one-a-day average ya'll)-please follow instructions below-i'd appreciate it ever so much:

I'm curious who actually reads this.

If you are reading this, please leave me a note to let me know you were here. You can include your name or not-whichever you prefer (though it would be cool to know who you are). This applies to both people i do and do not know. thanks.

(ps-if you don't want to leave note here, just send me an email if you know my email address)
(**my response count includes people who replied by email or IM as well as on the blog)

Missing the folk who are out of town now (including, but not limited to, a certain someone).

Day 10 (or night 10 I guess, since I forgot to post earlier) of my "who reads this" poll(8** responses so far-but none in the last 2 or so days. Oh well.)-please follow instructions below-i'd appreciate it ever so much:

I'm curious who actually reads this.

If you are reading this, please leave me a note to let me know you were here. You can include your name or not-whichever you prefer (though it would be cool to know who you are). This applies to both people i do and do not know. thanks.

(ps-if you don't want to leave note here, just send me an email if you know my email address)
(**my response count includes people who replied by email or IM as well as on the blog)

DONE WITH MY STATISTICS FINAL!!! I should go collapse now shouldn't I? At 24, am I already gettin too old for this? Perhaps I can develop some good study habits or something. And wings.

we shall see.

Day 9 of my "who reads this" poll(8** responses so far-but none yesterday :( )-please follow instructions below-i'd appreciate it ever so much:

I'm curious who actually reads this.

If you are reading this, please leave me a note to let me know you were here. You can include your name or not-whichever you prefer (though it would be cool to know who you are). This applies to both people i do and do not know. thanks.

(ps-if you don't want to leave note here, just send me an email if you know my email address)
(**my response count includes people who replied by email or IM as well as on the blog)

So Hillary Clinton made a remark to a black audience that the House of Representatives was run like a plantation, following it with "and you know what I'm talking about." Besides the fact that after hearing the quote, albeit without the full context, I didn't know what she was talking about (apparently it was a reference to the quashing of dissent by the Republican House leadership), it did sound like a bit of a cheap shot. While it isn't a full use of the so called race card, it seemed obvious that her choice of analogy was motivated by the audience, as she knew that the indirect slavery reference would get a strong reaction from the crowd. Even if she is married to America's first black president*, it still seemed like a little much

*(a title that has been bestowed upon Bill Clinton for his seeming familiarity/admiration of the black community and general cool demeanor)

Day 8 of my "who reads this" poll(8** responses so far-that rocks)-please follow instructions below-i'd appreciate it ever so much:

I'm curious who actually reads this.

If you are reading this, please leave me a note to let me know you were here. You can include your name or not-whichever you prefer (though it would be cool to know who you are). This applies to both people i do and do not know. thanks.

(ps-if you don't want to leave note here, just send me an email if you know my email address)
(**my response count includes people who replied by email or IM as well as on the blog)

So New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin is getting in trouble for his comments about Katrina and other hurricanes being God's wrath, New Orleans being forever a "chocolate" city, etc. Now I'm not sure where he was going with the hurricane comment (so was he trying to imply that his constituents brought the hurricane on themselves? or maybe that America's national/international policies, like the war in Iraq, were to blame and New Orleans unfortunately was just in the way of the retribution?). I do kinda understand where he was going with the chocolate comment, as there have been fears (I don't know if they're coming true or not) that many of the poor (black) residents of New Orleans were going to lose their homes in the reconstruction.

In case you haven't seen the follow up, where he explains his analogy to a reporter-find the video. It is quite amusing.

Tomorrow (unless I change my mind or don't get to it): Hillary Clinton's "plantation" remark.

Day 8 of my "who reads this" poll(8 responses so far-lets keep that average up people)-please follow instructions below-i'd appreciate it ever so much:

I'm curious who actually reads this.

If you are reading this, please leave me a note to let me know you were here. You can include your name or not-whichever you prefer (though it would be cool to know who you are). This applies to both people i do and do not know. thanks.

(ps-if you don't want to leave note here, just send me an email if you know my email address)

So cold. So very cold. Oh well.
Finally working on a take home exam due Friday. Good times.
BTW, my cell phone battery is practically dead, but I've been holding out on getting a new one bc i think we may be getting new phones soon. So Feel free to call me, but don't be offended if it cuts off in the middle of conversation. And I'm usually pretty good (obsessive) about checking email.

Day 7 of my "who reads this" poll(7 responses so far-not too shabby)-please follow instructions below-i'd appreciate it ever so much:

I'm curious who actually reads this.

If you are reading this, please leave me a note to let me know you were here. You can include your name or not-whichever you prefer (though it would be cool to know who you are). This applies to both people i do and do not know. thanks.

(ps-if you don't want to leave note here, just send me an email if you know my email address)

So I was watching the Boondocks tv show last night (which i generally think has a few moments but often crosses the line and isn't as funny as the comic strip (which is hilarious and generally on-point) Had their Martin Luther King Jr episode. It was very interesting-they did a counterfactual reality where King wasn't killed on the balcony but went into a 30 yr coman, awaking around 2000 to our present world. After being initially celebrated, he's villified and ostracized after suggesting we "love our enemies" and "turn the other cheek" after 9/11. Eventually (with the help of Huey Freeman) he tries to start a new left party. But upon discovering that the new "party" is really nothing but a "party" in the clubbing sense of the word (complete with scantily clad women, fighting, etc) he delivers a rousing speech about the state of black America.

At first I thought the show went way over the line when King calls the people in his audience (I'm paraphrasing bc I can't remember all the adjectives) "Trifling, good for nothing n*****s." The show has been criticized for its frequent use of the n-word (though I don't think it uses it more than people do in real conversations, but of course the Cartoon Network is a different venue than being on the block), King does go on to say that he hates that word and that its the ugliest word in the English language, but that he was forced to use it bc it was the only way to describe what he saw. After calling out everything from BET to the movie Soul Plane (the speech is time-elapsed so you don't actually hear all he has to say), he moves to Canada, but his words have a tremendous effect on the black community in America, eventually bringing about "the revolution." The show ends with a newspaper headline from the year 2020 saying that King has died in British Columbia, then pans out to show that the main headline on that paper was Oprah Wiinfrey being elected president. I'm still not quite sure what to think of the episode (or what the King family and those who knew him might think) but I do feel that Aaron McGruder, though perhaps still crossing the line several times, actually did it in a way that was somewhat serious and respectful of King's legacy and beliefs (not that I think King would have actually delivered this speech, at least not the way it was presented, but the points were valid). I think they rerun episodes of the Boondocks sometime(s) this week in case you missed it. Watch it and see what you think.

Day 6 of my "who reads this" poll(6 responses so far-that's like one per day!)-please follow instructions below-i'd appreciate it ever so much:

I'm curious who actually reads this.

If you are reading this, please leave me a note to let me know you were here. You can include your name or not-whichever you prefer (though it would be cool to know who you are). This applies to both people i do and do not know. thanks.

(ps-if you don't want to leave note here, just send me an email if you know my email address)

2 great conversations in one day. Score!

To person #2, thanks for the advice. You are, of course, right.

Day 5 of my "who reads this" poll(5 responses so far!)-please follow instructions below-i'd appreciate it ever so much:

I'm curious who actually reads this.

If you are reading this, please leave me a note to let me know you were here. You can include your name or not-whichever you prefer (though it would be cool to know who you are). This applies to both people i do and do not know. thanks.

(ps-if you don't want to leave note here, just send me an email if you know my email address)

Worst. Exam. Ever.

I think I may have gotten one part of one question correct.
And that one I'm not even sure about.

Wow, I didn't realize one could fail so badly. and yet...

Don't get me wrong-I'm not down about it at all-kinda amused actually. Ooh well, it's over. And that makes me happy.

Day 4 of my "who reads this" poll(4 responses so far!)-please follow instructions below-i'd appreciate it ever so much:

I'm curious who actually reads this.

If you are reading this, please leave me a note to let me know you were here. You can include your name or not-whichever you prefer (though it would be cool to know who you are). This applies to both people i do and do not know. thanks.

(ps-if you don't want to leave note here, just send me an email if you know my email address)

Delta found my bag! They called me at 10 last night to let me know that it had arrived (using the phrase "believe it or not"). It was supposed to get here around midnight, but I don't think it did and I fell asleep. But around 5am I woke up and checked and there it was in the doorway. It appears to still have my stuff in it, which is cool. God is good people. Yes He is.

Day 3 of my "who reads this" poll(3 responses so far!)-please follow instructions below-i'd appreciate it ever so much:

I'm curious who actually reads this.

If you are reading this, please leave me a note to let me know you were here. You can include your name or not-whichever you prefer (though it would be cool to know who you are). This applies to both people i do and do not know. thanks.

(ps-if you don't want to leave note here, just send me an email if you know my email address)

So the airline is "still tracking" my bag after almost 2 weeks. They assure me that doesn't mean its actually lost. I'm a bit unconvinced, thouogh I still have some hope.

Day 2 of my "who reads this" poll(2 responses yesterday!)-please follow instructions below-i'd appreciate it ever so much:

I'm curious who actually reads this.

If you are reading this, please leave me a note to let me know you were here. You can include your name or not-whichever you prefer (though it would be cool to know who you are). This applies to both people i do and do not know. thanks.

(ps-if you don't want to leave note here, just send me an email if you know my email address)

I'm curious who actually reads this.

If you are reading this, please leave me a note to let me know you were here. You can include your name or not-whichever you prefer (though it would be cool to know who you are). This applies to both people i do and do not know. thanks.

(ps-if you don't want to leave note here, just send me an email if you know my email address)

:)

So I'm not quite as in trouble schoolwork-wise as I was a couple of days ago. But still gonna be a hectic couple of weeks. Oh well, I've dug my own hole, so now I have to crawl out of it.

Pulled an allnighter sunday night/monday morning! I thought I was getting to old for them, but it actually wasn't toooo bad this time. I should try to avoid them in the future though, just to be on the safe side.

Wow, it's incredible how screwed I am at this moment (academically, at least). Oh well, at least I have my health and charming good looks. they should get me far in life, right?

So Delta called this morning and I gave them some new info on my bag-maybe they'll find it after all. that would be nice.

No word yet on my missing luggage :(
Trying to fight procrastination-not yet winning.

my adventures in traveling:
So I booked a flight from Columbia SC to Boston for New Year's Eve. I was supposed to fly from Columbia at 4pm to Cincinnati, where I was to connect to Boston, arriving at 9:30 or so that night. My cousin drove me to the Columbia airport. We got there at 2 to be on the safe side, in case there were long lines. Of course, there was literally no one in the security line when we got there. We hung out until about 3, and in that hour maybe 20 people total went through security. After I went in, it turned out my flight to Cincinatti was delayed due to "maintenance" (which, a roommate pointed out, is much better than not maintenancing the plane) but that meant I'd probably miss my connection and there wasn't another Boston flight from Cincinatti that day/night. They had one seat left for an Atlanta plane, where I could connect to Boston. The Atlanta plane was running late as well, but there was a later Atlanta-Boston flight in case I missed my earlier connection.

Eventually we got on the Atlanta plane. It was then delayed because some part of the plane that helps start the engine and runs the air conditioning when the plane isn't in motion was not working. They had to bring some kind of external device to start the planes engine, though they assured us this was not affecting safety at all. The flight attendant was really nice though, and the trip itself went fine.

The connection flight left Atlanta at 6:45, which was about the same time my plane landed in Atlanta. Fortunately, they had gone ahead and put me on the later flight (leaving 9:45) instead. So I ate dinner at the airport, called some folk, listened to music, watched some football, etc. After we boarded the Boston flight, I ended up sitting in the midst of the Brown women's basketball team, who were returning from some games. It just so happened that a panel in the ceiling over the seat in front of us was missing, and the maintenance guy said we couldn't leave until it was replaced. The flight attendants looked for it for a few minutes (wondering why no one noticed or reported it on the previous flight) then the maintenance guy came to cover the space once we couldn't find the panel (the pilot also came back at one point in a "I had to see it for myself" moment). Of course, the people in my row (me, the Brown coach and a player) had to get up and stand in the aisle while he fixed it. By "fixed", I mean he took some material that looked like straps from a seatbelt and taped it over the opening. Fun stuff. So we actually took off, landing in Boston 12:30ish (the pilot wished us happy new year in the air). Went to baggage claim, waiting for half and hour or so for my bag to come out (it didn't, of course). So I filed a lost baggage thing (I would've actually been a bit surprised if it had made it given all my flight changes). It hasn't shown up yet.

It was like 1 am by this point, but a friend had told me that the T was running until 2 bc it was New Years. I went to catch the Silver line bus to take me to the subway, which didn't come. Maybe I was waiting in the wrong place, but no one was around to give information. Eventually took a cab home, which cost like $40 w/ tip. Along the way we got stopped by some drunk guys who tried to get in the cab (one of them stood in the middle of the street and stopped us from going by) but eventually gave up. Got home around 2am, tired and bagless, but with some stories to tell. Good times.