Merry Christmas everybody!!!!

So traveling home yesterday was ok for the most part. I think I accidentally was a bit of a jerk to some people on the Silver Line shuttle to the airport. I didn't mean to be, was just in a rush to get my suitcase and get off before I missed my stop, but in cramped spaces it kinda resulted in me being inadvertently pushy or whatever. Felt bad about that.

Flying was cool, if tiring. The longer flight (Boston to Atlanta) showed the Polar Express. I watched but didn't listen to it (i had my headphones on listening to Phrenology by the Roots. You know how there's a weird correlation between Dark Side of the Moon and the Wizard of Oz? Well, with Phrenology and the Polar Express, the matchup is so...what's the word?...non-existent). Both were cool though. Polar's plot was pretty easy to follow w/o the dialogue, and I do admit it is a beautiful movie. And I think Phrenology has cemented it's place as my favorite Roots album (though i haven't listened to Do You Want More all the way through and don't have Illadelph Halflife yet), even if You Got Me is still my favorite song of theirs.

The Atlanta airport is kinda long, but it has a shuttle between terminals. Also a lot more black people than Logan :) (Go black people!)

**note-I am black**

At my cousin's house now, who picked me up from the airport. His place is really cool, if a bit warm. Hope you all have a very great Christmas. Jesus deserves a good birthday party :)

BTW, anyone in Boston/Cambridge/Somerville for New Year's Eve or Day? I'm coming back on the 31st and was wondering if I'd have company.

On my way to SC today-sorry, that might mean less posts for a few days (but check back anyway just in case).

OK, so not to harp too much on the same point, but it would really help settle my mind if I could tell if people (people=girls) liked me instead of having to guess. If you've been following the old blog, you know that there's a girl that, in addition to really valuing as a friend, I also like in that other way as well. But I can't tell if she likes me (or might like me) back, and I'm hesitant to tell her how I feel bc I worry about it hurting our friendship.

So I guess I kinda wish that, if she does know or suspect that I do like her, that she would have the courage I lack and be able to bring it up. Hopefully, of course, she would respond positively, but even if she didn't feel the same way, it would be nice to have some resolution.

Also, I would hope that anyone who was in the same situation with me (not that I expect anyone to have a thing for me, but crazier things have happened) would be able to come to me anad talk to me about it if it was weighing on them the same way that these things weigh on me. I know the fear of it making things awkward and hurting our friendship, but I think that, at best, it might turn out that I would feel similarly towards them and, at worst, it would help our friendship in the long run to clear the air. Especially since I know what its like to be on the crush-having side of this type of thing, I wouldn't be weirded out or anything if someone I knew was in a similar situation with me, and it would help me know how to proceed with our friendship in a way to not cause them any heartache. Of course, it is probably a longshot that anyone would be in such a situation concerning me, but it could happen one day.

So I guess in writing this, its implicit that I kinda want anyone who knows me and might be one of the people described above to respond. I guess I'm a lot bolder online than I am in person.

Great almost-Christmas everyone!!!

Schoooool's out for Christmas!
More substantive blog posts soon (maybe even tomorrow)

Hmm, I'm not sure I remember exactly the question I was going to ask yesterday, but I'll lay out the situation a little. So there's a girl (of course) that I like, but the problem is that the more I get to know her the more I like her in the unqualified sense (i.e. as a friend) and I want to develop a closer/deeper friendship with her if I can. But I also "like" her in the other way too, but I'm increasingly hesitant about jeopardizing our friendship by pursuing something more. On the other hand, it could be really great to be together as more than friends, and I at times get kind of impatient about that and want to try to start something up. I also can't tell if she is at all interested (and I don't know for sure that she might not be involved with/interested in anyone else, though she isn't as far as I can tell). And I can't figure out how to bring up the question with her-our conversations never go in that direction.

So I guess the first question is how do I even bring up the topic with her? Any insight on the other stuff would be appreciated as well.

I have 2 questions. I'll leave the second one to a later post.

1. Is it good or bad to do the right thing for the wrong reasons? I'm not talking about reasons that are bad but rather reasons that might be kind of petty compared to the more compelling reasons for doing something. Since this is all very vague, here are some examples:

When I started volunteering at a homeless shelter my freshman year, I did it in large part because my friends were doing it, rahter than just out of concern for the people being provided for by the shelter, etc. I have heard others argue, however, that this isn't such a bad thing, that people often get involved in service and whatnot bc of others. While I see that this is useful from a practical standpoint, it feels wrong that the important reasons arent enough to compel me to do more.

Similarly, why is it that we give to charities when we see images of people suffering more so than when we don't see these images but know that the suffering is going on?

So, this is kinda my dilemma (the actual situation that is behind this questioning is slightly different from the examples above, but I think these are good analogies-more discussion of what is actually on my mind at the moment available upon request). Any thoughts?

Yay-there was no wind chill this morning! It was 11 degrees and it Felt like 11 degrees! Woo-hoo!

The Holiday party was fun yesterday. And the afterparty at Grafton Street bar was also fun and...interesting.

Wind chill minus 10 this morning :(
Syriana :)
Gov Christmas party this evening :)
thought I lost my ID card :(
Didn't lose it after all :)
Saturday brunch :)
Icy ground :(

Ok, that's enough for now-I count four smiles vs. three frowns (Though i did rig the data so that it would come out that way-such a good political scientist) so I win.

Alcohol is flammable. And people drink it. Just a thought

Go me, it's my birthday!
My mom called me and warned me not to binge drink.
I am having my 1st milkshake in a long time. So far no one has been brought to the yard.

:)
So a friend from undergrad came up to visit us (she was in Kuumba with all of my roommates and I knew her from SoulFood Bible Study and whatnot) and that was awesome.

Also got my room a little organized (my computer is actually at my desk now)
And my mom loves me-she sent me a birthday package with several items, most notably a box of Honey Buns.

Kuumba rocks! Snow-less so. It does look nice from the window though. And small round cars covered with untouched snow are cute-like igloos with wheels (and an antennae).

I wore three jackets/coats yesterday-I'm worried I' m already approaching the practical limit of bundling and its likely to get colder-what am I to do?

Sweet-just got reminded of a relevant Bible passage, Matthew 6:31.

Ok, if you don't want to look it up, here it is:

'Therefore take no thought, saying,What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink, or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all theses things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.'

Groovy.

Nice little blizzard going on outside-perfect weather for the Kuumba Concert tonight!!

How is it that I have no motivation or attention span anymore. I mean really, I'm supposed to be an adult now, shouldn't I be able to sit down and do a problem set and not just procrastinate and check email every minute (almost literally) and everything else but what's productive. I mean really.

So the condom I inadvertently picked up (see several posts ago) made me think this morning about what I might teach my children about (safe) sex. I don't want to encourage my kids (boys or girls) to have sex outside of marriage, but I also don't agree with the idea that teaching them about safe sex and giving them straight facts (for instance, by not overemphasizing the failure rate of condoms, like some conservatives and/or Christian groups and parents tend to do in order to discourage premarital sex) will just encourage them to have sex, especially if the context in which you discuss these things is right. So I guess my stance is somewhere along the lines of "sex before marriage is bad bc of x,y, and z, but having that sex be unsafe is even worse." Hopefully that will work (or I'll find an approach that does). Given my own principle about not having sex outside of marriage though, I'm unlikely to have to deal much with this issue for some time.

So I'm growing a beard now. For the first 2 weeks or so it was just laziness/time constraints. then i got curious about how full it can get and how i will look with it. I've gotten mostly (though not all) positive comments. And honestly I prefer myself without it, but I figure if I'm gonna try it out why not now. Of course this is how i grew my afro in college, but i doubt the beard will go on for 2 1/2 years. We ll see.

I've heard rumors of people who practice something called time management. If you have information on these people or their methods, please inform me. It would be very helpful. Thank you.

Feeling better about the stuff involving the people.
Feeling amused that the above was so vague-at least one person should get it though.
Not feeling overwhelmed by work, despite it being a bit overwhelming.
Not feeling disappointed by the snow, even though I'm not really a fan of it.
Feeling grateful to God for everything.
Feeling that I don't feel grateful enough in general.

Cautiously optimistic that things will work out.

Above comment can be interpreted in several correct ways.

Went to a concert last night at the Middle East (not to be confused with the similarly named geographical region)-my roommate's band and a couple of hip hop acts. Good stuff.

So the other day I was in the subway station and a guy came and asked me how long I had been waiting. After answering him, he kinda continued talking to me, which was a little unusual as subway folk are usually pretty antisocial. In the midst of the conversation he casually pulled out an ID tag-thing that was clipped to his collar (not obviously in a way that suggested that he was trying to show it to me) that identified that he was a Mormon. So from chatting with him I found out that he was indeed a missionary who had been in Boston for almost a year. At the end of our conversation he gave me a card with a painting of Jesus and a number or website where I could order a video about Him. Hopefully anyone who knows me well wil see how this was kind of an interesting experience for me. I do admire the young man though-I wish we, and I, were that bold (about Jesus and in general).

So even though I don't like the term "my hormones are flaring up" (it sounds so middle school to me-sorry to my unnamed friend who says it), I can't think of a better way to say it at the moment. sigh.

In related news, there were some people passing out flyers for an event being held by the Harvard AIDS Coalition with what I thought were red ribbons attached on the back, but they turned out to be condoms

So I've been bad about the post everyday thing. Sorry, ya'll-i'll try to be better.
Let's see, what's going on nowadays.

Still seesawing (is that how you spell it) with the girl thing. I know in my mind what direction I want to go in (kinda) but am still trying to communicate that to the rest of me.

Feeling a bit better about schoolwork-it's a little less overwhelming now, and it looks like we're getting some breaks on our final exams/paper, so the first half of January shouldn't be as stressful/hectic.

Earthquakes and other natural disasters in lots of places-that's so not good. Makes me feel like I should read Revelations again-I haven't in a while.

Weather hasn't gotten too bad yet-I'm thankful for that as long as it lasts.

If I haven't talked to you in a while (other than through this blog, which I hope isn't a substitution for actual interaction) drop me a line in whatever medium you prefer (email, phone, cave paintings)-I'd like it ever so much.

Happy day after thanksgiving.
My roommate cooks a mean turkey and fixins. And he's not bad company either.




Still being thankful

So I realized that all my close friends in my Ph.D program (my "gov friends" as I call them) are women. I wonder why that is (see midsummer blog entries for relevant theories)

They're cute though, and really nice (and cute) so I'm not complaining.

Wondering if you will actually read this, she who's sister did not like to eat carrots.
if so, thanks

and of course thanks to you, you know who you are, for your continued readership (where continued means at least 2 times not counting this one). Even if you're dad isn't the new mayor, I still appreciate that you take an interest in my life, however boring it may be.

I like you guys.

Ok, that was a bit disturbing. So I was reading an article saying that Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, the terrorist leader in Iraq, might have been killed in a fight (there isn't yet any indication whether this is just a rumor or might actually be true). But the disturbing part was that one of my first reactions was to be happy at the news. Now I know that Zarqawi has been responsible for a lot of death and suffering of innocent people, but still, I don't think that we(I) should take joy in anyone losing their life. The Christian thing to do would be to pray for him (and of course for his past and potential victims), however distateful it seems. I'll try that now.

So am I really gonna finish all the stuff I'm supposed to do this semester? Perhaps.

Someone actually reads my blog! (or at least has read it once). Yay!

So I'm averaging about 1 meal of Mexican food per day. I thought that might be a bit unusual, but then realized that there is an entire country of people with a higher average. Plus Mexican food is really good.

so this morning i started thinking about interspacial dating but quickly stopped when I couldn't figure out what such a term would mean. I would like to explore it more-any ideas as to how I could define this new concept?

So I think I'm over it (her) and ready to move on.
It's cloudy today but that's alright.
I've also decided being a good person does not depend on being a good political scientist, though I'm not giving up on the latter just yet.

Letting God be in control.

Ok, so if you know there's basically no chance of you developing anything with someone beyond friendship, and that you probably don't actually want to develop anything else with them bc of different reasons, then why can't you just get over them?

Or maybe you can but you don't want to (or a part of you doesn't at least) bc it still has that masochistic, unrequited wallowing in your own misery feel that we often kinda like? Arg, so frustrating. Including bc it gets in the way of other (potential) relationships.
Sorry to continue harpong on this, however vaguely, in my last several posts. I'll try to be lighter (or at least move on to a different topic) but this has been particularly frustrating the past week or so. Oh well...I am actually decently happy in general, this part of life is just nagging a bit.

It could all be so simple.

Emotions are weird. If only we could choose who we liked, it would make things so much easier. But I guess that wouldn't be as much fun.

So my roommate came in to say hi to me last night and, having not seen him all day, I asked him what he had been up to. He then proceeded to tell me that he had actually been gone since Thursday :) and that he was in Philadelphia for work.

It also turns out that he has a brother and that he stayed with this brother during his trip (ok, so I did actually know he had a brother, but the gone since Thursday thing was still quite amusing to me, and hopefully to my roommate as well).

IS the such a thing as a rebound crush? Meaning, if you had a crush on someone but nothing came of it or was going to come from it, might you develop another crush on someone else as a way of getting over the first person, even though you never actually had anything with the first person? Trying to figure out if I'm in such a situation, and if so, what to do abut it. Should I try to pursue the new person even if I'm not yet totally over the old person, given that I know nothings gonna happen with the old person? Not that I know that anything will happen with the new girl, but it's still a possibility.

Party tonight was fun. Orange and fun. (it was an orange themed party). Still in the kind of fun imagining stage with my current crush. Trying to get over my last one still I guess (I thought I mostly was, and yet...)

Worried about coming on to strong with my current interest, who shall of course remain unnamed in this blog. By "coming on strong" I mean in terms of trying to push spending time with her and whatnot to a greater extent than our relationship might warrant.

Did that last sentence actually make sense? Basically I don't want to get on her nerves or push her away by trying to talk to/hang out with her all the time. Of coure my worry might be all in my head. Suggestions will be considered.

Survived the scary midterm (not survived as in passed, mind you, but as in got through it, and actually had some fun doing it). Today looks like a beautiful day, full of hope and opportunity and sunshine and little elves running around with cookies and gold.

No this isn't the sleep deprivation talking. My mind usually works like this.

it got like 30 degrees warmer since yesterday :)

Sure I'm inside studying for a midterm, but still, it makes me happy.

(btw, was in major "I Need a Girl" mode this morning, but I'm better now)

(btw, I don't like that song [or its remixes], however relatable the sentiment is. you may still like it if you choose to.)

That was a good extra hour. I hope I get another one next year.

Wait, I have to give this one back in the spring. :(

It's snowing. Snowing.

Got some major cramming to do in the next couple of days. Drop me a line if you happen to be reading this.

(ok, so I know this sounds like an away message and not a blog post, but i figured i should write something to keep you reading)

I'm ok with not succeeding with everything (everything=microeconomics). Seriously though, I've realized that, in the grand scheme of life, its not that important.

Am I a bad friend? I feel like I take more than I give in a lot of my relationships, and I've been kinda dropping the ball some with one friend in particular.

unexpected quality time rocks.

Not so tired anymore. But still running so to speak.

I am tired. Oh well, I still have figurative miles to go before I sleep.

Preface: My life is actually pretty good. The following complaints are all very minor in the grand scheme of things and in large part resulting rom my current tiredness (which is also not a big deal but tends to make me more sentimental/moody than usual)

Arg. I'm stuck in my usual "do i really like her?", "would she like me?" "should I tell her I like her?" "no, it's too soon", "how do I get to spend more time with her?" "do i still like this other person instead?" "why can't I just get over this other person-I know nothing will/should happen between us anyway" "can I still try to be better friends with her without causing myself to continue harboring these feelings?" etc. mode.

Exciting, ain't it
(and on top of it all I have a ton of work I need to do and very little motivation to do it, not to mention very little understanding of what I'm supposed to be doing anyway).

for some reason i really felt like I needed a hug yesterday (partially because I was tired) but did not come across any :(
Less hug needing today (though one would still be nice).

When you don't have enough time to do things, you're like "if only I had more time, I could get this done", but when you do have more time, you're like "I don't want to do this now." go fig.

After two or three horrible weeks of microeconomics, I was actually happy when the class shifted to probability. This I, kinda, understand.

Also, it was not freezing today, filling me with happiness. Tired happiness (I should really start sleeping more).

So the second year gov grad students threw a party for the first years. It was cool-got to meet a few 2nd years, talk with some fellow first years who I may or may not have interacted with much in the last few weeks, and generally have a good time.

Earlier that day, the roommates of one of the first years had a breakfast pancake party, which was very good from both a "wow, these are a lot of pancakes and they are really good" sense and a "hey, I like hanging with you guys" sense. So yesterday was a good day.

Numbchuck skills

Microeconomics-why did it have to be microeconomics

So I'm pretty sure I'm averaging significantly less sleep than I should be. Perhaps I should remedy that sometime.

So did anyone else get Columbus Day off, or are we special?

Pray for all those who have been killed, injured, impoverished, or otherwise hurt by the earthquake in Asia or by Hurricane Stan (or by any of the other disasters of late).

Don't just pray though-help them in whatever way you can.

After kinda bombing on schoolwork (especially microeconomics), I'm once again CAUTIOUSLY optimistic about actually being able to understand the material for my classes. Though I don't fully understand what I'm basing this assessment on.

Also having a few of my usual girl issues-you know how it goes.

In other news, I’ve been once again snubbed by the Nobel Prize committee (or whoever actually makes those decisions).

So I pulled my first all nighter of the year. That’s probably bad bc: 1. its only week 2, and I don’t want to get in the habit of doing that. 2. I still didn’t get all the answers to the problem set, and the ones I did write down are mostly just made up. 3. The set isn’t even graded, so I’m not sure why I cared so much, except that I wanted to learn the material well, but 4. I still don’t understand it. Sigh

It did facilitate a cool thing in class this morning. I was trying to take notes but drifting off every few minutes, only I’d do so while writing. So when I’d go back and read what I wrote, it would start off as the real material and then drift into whatever thought came in my mind as I started to doze-very stream of conscious style.

So I'm getting back into "thesis mode" with my sleep patterns (which baasically means cutting my amount of sleep by some large percent). That can't be healthy in the long run-i'lll have to learn "time management" as the kids say.

I also don't understand the stuff I'm supposed to be doing for my classes, but that's a different (though related) story.

Life is good.

DJ Afro Thunder is Back! And by that, I mean that I got to do a show on WHRB tonight(
Saturday). It felt good to be back on the radio again. Don't know if anyone listened besides the 3-4 people I told that I was gonna be onair, but still, good times.

Ok, i'm all rested up. Time to get crackin.

:) I got to see one of my most favoritest people in the whole wide world yesterday. :)

Need to learn time management, so as not to be up to some unreasonable hour doing an assignment and then being tired in class the next day and unproductive and generally blar-feeling. Blar is not the best feeling to have.

I can do this. Really, I can.

("This"=grad school)

So many classes, so little time. Eh, it's not that bad actually, but it is a lot of work. It=grad school

I so slept in the Gov Department building last night, and by last night I mean 5:45-7am. Good times.

So it's important to me that the girls I might date (and ultimately who I marry) be Christian of similar faith to me, but sometimes you (where by "you" I mean "I") find someone who isn't but is still very attractive in a number of ways, and though I still hold my principle strongly, it's hard to resist the temptation to make an exception or at least bend a lot. Well, I guess if it were easy it would not be as interesting.

Why do old habits die so hard?

Time to hit the books(yes, I know it's Saturday).

Wow. God is so amazing. A friend of mine just spent like 2 hours sharing all the things that He's done in her life in the last year, and it was truly amazing.

So I'm completely over my head when it comes to classes. Amd yet I continue...

Arg!

I got to see the president of Zambia yesterday! How cool is that (for those of you who don't know where Zambia is-southern Africa-it's still cool that I got to see the President of a country talk).

And apparently the professor I want to work with here is the leading Africanist in the country-sure, that title was bestowed upon him by one of his colleagues, but still, that's pretty cool as well.

"sometimes I feel like I don't have a partner..."





"It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him"-from Genesis 2:18

First day of classes. Will let you know how they went soon.

Is Sunday morning really all that easy? I guess maybe if you're not getting up early for church it might be. Still...

Sunday Afternoon on the other hand-so easy. I guess that wouldn't fit as well in a song though.

HRCF (Harvard-Radcliffe Christian Fellowship)is still great, upcoming classes are scary, seeing old/new friends is wonderful, waking up early even when I'm trying not to is not as fun, singleness is getting a bit old, having money is really cool, having bills is a bit less so, the responsibilities of sharing a house/apartment are manageable but a bit different than what I'm used to, roommates are cool, though I still need to get to know a couple of them better, long-distance friendships can work sometimes, trying to figure out if someone else likes you (platonically or otherwise) as much as you like them can be frustrating, getting signs that they do like you as much as you hoped they would feels good.

It seems to me that when bad things happen, people have a tendency of searching for someone or something to blame, at least in part, and that its cathartic to have someone to blame for what happened. I guess it helps to give some kind of meaning to what would otherwise seem to just be a random stroke of fate. I wonder if the government is playing that role following Hurricane Katrina. That isn't to say that anger at the response to Katrina isn't justified-they obviously messed up big time. But this crisis isn't like 9/11, where there was a clear and evil enemy to blame and rally against (al-Queda specifically, terrorism or Islamic fundamentalism more generally). The reaction to the governmental blunderings is of course not the same as the reaction to the terrorists, but i think it does still fill that "need" to blame someone in some way.

HRCF (Harvard Radcliffe Christian Fellowship) had an event for freshman Wednesday evening along with AACF (Asian American Christian Fellowship), and so I went to help out for a while. There were a lot of people from the two organizations there, so it was more hanging out and eating than work. It was really good to be back in that setting, seeing people I know who are still around as students or staff for HRCF. And a lot of freshmen showed up and seemed to have a lot of interest, so it went really well. God is good indeed.

I just got my first stipend check (with relocation bonus) and it's more than what I made all summer!-gotta love camp.

Trying to figure out classes, study habits, relationship (or lack thereof) concerns, and the usefulness of matrices ( besides providing titles to cool movies).

So we had an orientation today for grad students, which was kinda fun-since i went to college here already, but haven't seen it from the grad student perspective

I am getting a bit concerned about the upcoming semester, as I may be taking 2 math/economics heavy courses, and some of the people i thought would be with me may not take it.

I also ran into an old friend in Harvard Yard who is still an undergrad at the college. She had been out of the country for the last year and I didn't realize she was back yet until I saw her some yards away :)-God is good.

so a recent IM conversation reminded me that I am often funnier/wittier electronically than I am in real life. It's so much easier when you have a few seconds to think of what you want to say and see how it looks before saying it. Any way to do that in real life?

(Doing Probability in math camp today-it's so much fun compared to the computer stuff, which I'm not looking forward to having to do again the rest of the semester/year)

(and the freshman have moved in, so they're all over the place now-still trying to grasp the fact that the class of 09 actually exists-arg, getting old...)

So I've rediscovered that I don't like problem sets.

My computer came today! We did calculus on Saturday morning :(, but at least it wasn't the computer stuff we had been doing the previous two days :).

Also, I've been a bit annoyed that I'm starting to get blogger spam. I'll get a comment, often featuring some random news bit, then the "commenter" will say how he or she stumbled upon my blog and was gonna bookmark or remember it for later, but then they say I should check out their blog (and they provide a link), which is just advertising some product or something. Arg-spam emails I can live with, but spamming my blog-its like opening my diary and finding an advertisement (not that I keep a diary, but if i did...)

anyway

I've spent the morning battling the machines. And the machines are winning.

Round 4 starts at 1:30. So not looking forward to it.

So we had to do all this computer stuff today (thursday) for class; servers and LaTeX and that kind of stuff, and I'm not sure I can convey how lost I am with all of that. A good metaphor I thought of-it's like being asked to write a paper in a language you don't know. If you have a dictionary with you that translates, you can look up individual words and then type them, and you can get the grammar kinda right by constantly asking people who know the language, but you aren't really learning it. You might remember a few words after, but you cannot actually understand the language at all. Hopefully this stuff gets easier with practice.

Also, at lunch w/ several other grad students, the conversation turned to relationships. It was quite interesting. I've missed out on a lot of drama it seems-I have some catching up to do :)

So I'm excited about the idea of grad school, a little less so about some of the courses. I do want to take some of the substantive courses on topics i'm interested in, but there's also a lot of methods and whatnot (i.e. math and math related things) that I am not too into, though I know I need some of that stuff and want to learn it (even though I don't want to go through the process of learning it)

the math (p)refresher course went well the first day-they gave us the easy stuff like "what are real numbers", but I suspect its gonna get a lot more intense as time goes on. Got to see a lot of the other incoming Government grad students, which was cool, and we even have our own little clique going of people interested in similar activities. for some reason I'm the ony guy in said clique; go figure. Anywho, I should get going.

Sorry for the weekend break-I moved back up to the Boston/Cambridge area (Somerville to be exact) this weekend. Still need to figure out how to get my stuff up because I plan on having it mailed, but in my usual flash of brilliant planning, didn't take into account that I will have class most of the day and won't be around to accept deliveries. Alas, we'll figure something out, eh?

So Kanye West went off-script while appearing on a hurricane relief benefit last night. Visibly shaken because of the situation and struggling through his words, he, among other things, took the media to task for portraying blacks in New Orleans as "looting" when they took food from grocery stores but said that whites had "found" food at stores. Apparently there had been a story on Yahoo and other sites with two pictures, one of white people and the other of black people, that had captions which showed this bias-Yahoo took it down and apologized, as I understand it. Kanye also admitted his own slowness to react, saying he had gone shopping before donating, but now that he is aware of the severity of the situation he was getting on the phone with his manager to figure out the maximum he could donate. Standing next to commedian Mike Myers, who was obviously surprised by Kanye's remarks, he also lamented orders given to troops to shoot to kill if necessary, and made the statement that "George Bush doesn't care about black people"-after which NBC cut to another host, commedian Chris Tucker. NBC later released a statement saying Kanye's views in no way reflected those of the network and that it would be "most unfortunate" if efforts of millions of Americans to help were "overshadowed by one person's opinion"

To many, Kanye's remarks no doubt seemed inappropriate, and to many others, NBC's reaction to them were censorship. I am kinda glad that Kanye said what he said. I don't agree that Pres. Bush doesn't care about black people, but it has been obvious that the relief effort of the federal government has been quite flawed, and the questions raised about whether the race and socioeconomic status of the victims may have influenced the response, consciously or otherwise, are valid. Calling out the looting/surviving distinction and questioning the orders concerning the use of force against the hurricane victims was also warranted. Nevertheless, I also do not nec. think that what NBC did was wrong either. While Kanye's comments were (mostly) on point in my opinion, from the standpoint of the benefit organizers, it wasn't the time or place. Their purpose was to raise money and such potentially divisive comments, even if they were true or valid, might hurt that effort, which would be bad for the victims. I guess its a dilemma-I'm glad Kanye said most of what he said, but I don't think that the venue he used to say it was the right one, but I don't know where else he would have found such a proper venue to make those statements and have them heard as widely as they were last night. I guess Kanye and NBC were both doing the right thing, as they each saw it, though that caused them to cross purposes.

News report about the stranded people in New Orleans are calling them 'refugees'-makes you think...

And lots of people, including the mainstream news media, are being extremely critical of the relief effort, or lack thereof. I was talking with a friend of mine last night about how this is not like 9/11, where the emergency caused everyone to close ranks and rally together and mute any criticism of the government or leadership. Maybe it's because there's no human enemy who might strike again and who we need to band together against, maybe because the level of suffering and the lack of relief are so stark on TV (and in the minds of all of those who may have families or friends in the area); whatever the reason, it seems like there's a much more critical, honest reporting of what's really going on and what has been done wrong.

Camp people visited me! So one of the radio instructors (I'll call her Lia as she's from Australia) and the gym instructor (I'll call her Ain since she's from Britain) are in DC for a couple of days, so we met up, along with a friend that "Ain" met on her way to America who was working at another summer camp (I'll call her "2" since she's British too). It was good seeing them again, and "2" seemed really cool too. We ate at a California-named Mexican restaurant near Chinatown, then I accompanied them and about 25 other people staying at their international youth hostel on a tour of Georgetown. The tourguide figured out I was American but I don't know if he realized I wasn't actually staying at the hostel, though I don't think that should have mattered much. It was really good to hang out with them again-there both cool, chill people and I wish I had gotten more time with them at camp...hoping to see them again reasonably soon (and happy that I have friends to look up should I visit the UK or Australia).

Wow. I didn't imagine that Hurricane Katrina would be so bad. You hear about natural disasters in other parts of the world, but you don't think it can/will happen in the US, given our resources and ability to predict and prepare for these things. But now, as the death toll and level of damage are becoming known in the areas hit by the hurricane...wow.

I'm also concerned, as I tend to be, that the response to the hurricane will take attention and resources away from other needy places in the world. Not that we shouldn't contribute to hurricane relief (including bc one of the things that I'm starting to appreciate is that a lot of the area hit by the hurricane included some pretty poor parts of the country), but I think that such things tend to completely cloud out other issues going on in the world. The hurricane is being likened to the tsunami of last December, but I wonder if tsunami relief (which I already fear has long faded from the minds of Americans) will further decrease as people and companies and organizations (and maybe government?) divert attention and resources to hurricane relief instead. Or crises that we were just becoming aware of, like hunger in Niger-will we lose the focus that we started to have on these situations. And even when its not an issue of a direct tradeoff of resources, but just us not paying attention-for instance, apparently hundreds of people died in Iraq today in a stampede on a bridge that was started by rumors that a suicide bomber was about to strike. Normally this would be a huge story given the massive loss of life (its supposed to be the deadliest single incident since the war started), but having checked CNN its a relatively minor headline.

I don't think we should focus on other parts of the world to the detriment of our own country, but I so wish that it didn't have to be an either/or situation. If only we could focus on more than one thing at a time.

Should I get a driver's license? I know the short answer is yes, but how much of a priority should it be? On the one hand, I've gotten by without one and I'll probably be around good public transport for a while. On the other hand, getting by has left me reliant on other people for rides (particularly in SC or MD, but also in places like when i was at camp these last couple summers) and all things being equal, it would be nice to have the option of driving around places. And so many people do it, it can't be that hard can it? And girls dig guys with cars, right (it always comes back to that doesn't it :))?

Dentist appointment this morning. Yay!
Two camp friends coming to DC. Non-sarcastic yay!

So where should I take a Brit and an Aussie in our nation's capital? And would they mind me referring to them by their nationalities like that or should I, you know, actually call them their names?

I think I want to learn how to dance. Nothing too fancy, just a few basic steps. And I should probably learn to do some more club/party style dancing as well, as opposed to the one rocking from side to side thing that I do all the time now. If only I were coordinated...

By the way, how do people actually dance to techno; I haven't quite figured that one out yet.

So Kanye has a song out called "Diamonds", but the remix (and the video for the original) are titled "Diamonds (from Sierra Leone)", referring to so-called blood diamonds that were produced by child labor and sold by rebels who committed major atrocities in the west African country of Sierra Leone during it's civil war. I'm not sure yet how I feel about the song. It is nice that someone would pay attention to this problem, even if it is a few years late, but I don't know, something about it doesn't sit right...

So Pat Robertson is causing a big stir with his surprising and very nonChristian sounding comments to assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez.

On the surface, the outroar is very appropriate in my opinion. Christian leaders calling for the assassination of political leaders they don't like just doesn't go for me.

On the other hand though, he does have a point. Not about Chavez in particular-I think that Chavez not liking us and having a lot of oil is far from a capital offense ("ooo, they might not sell us their oil-let's kill him!"). I don't think Communism is a big threat to us nowadays, and I'm not sure where the Islamic terrorist link is supposed to come from.

In general though, Robertson does have a point about killing a leader vs. starting a war. I'm still undecided whether Christianity completely forbids any kind of violence/killing including military action (which, if it does, would definitely contradict Robertson's notion). But if you do allow that Christianity allows military action under certain circumstances (self-defense perhaps, or protecting innocent lives), then, should such circumstances arise and a choice present itself between starting a war and merely taking out an evil leader, then the latter seems by far to be the lesser of two evils. A policy of assassination is not a good idea generally, but if it is a choice between killing one person and starting a war that will kill hundreds or thousands and cause lots of other suffering and cost lots more etc, then just taking out the one actual bad guy at the top seems like a relatively good idea.

It is interesting that, of all the people that such an argument could actually apply to (there are lots of dictators and bad rulers out there causing tons of suffering to their people and others), Robertson chose to aim this assassination doctrine at Chavez, who was popularly elected and whose main crimes are that he says bad things about the US gov and threatens to cut off oil. Makes you wonder about our priorities.

Just a reminder that comments are much appreciated (I like to hear your feedback, and they let me know people are actually reading this)

So I really enjoyed camp but I didn't like some of the things it "did" to me. For one, I ended up having to compromise my moral code* in order to finish a project there. I'm kinda disappointed in myself, especially since I had to do the same thing last year and should have known better than to get myself back into that situation.

Also, I felt as though the atmosphere, though good in a lot of ways (and filled with some good people) started to rub off on me in some bad ways. Like my attitude toward girls or like getting annoyed/angry at people and being close (well close for me anyway) to snapping at people and/or using non-Christian language. I also think it might have impaired my relationship with God, between being busy and not going to church a lot or having a lot of time for Bible, prayer, plus the stuff I've already mentioned above.

I liked camp, but didn't completely like the kind of person I was (or was edging closer to being) when I was there, if that makes sense.

*Note-I've been told that stuff like "compromise my moral code" was a bit vague, which I kinda intended it to be. Without being very specific, it was one of those things that many people do and don't have any moral qualms about but that I do not do in my real life. Think Jaywalking, but a bit more serious. As this is still very ambiguous, ask me if you want to know exactly what I'm talking about and I'll tell you-I just didn't want to post it on the internet (not that I think anyone would actually get in trouble for it, but I am a bit paranoid I guess)

Usually I don't strongly miss people after we part. It's like I dread the parting beforehand (or at least don't look forward to it) but then when it actually happens its more of a blankness than an actual emotion. But now I'm really missing people now that I've left camp. Some folk in particular I'm missing individually, but also missing the place as a whole. I dunno-I guess it was like camp was its own little world and I had my place in it and now that world is gone and I'm left to float and wow this all sounds kinda deep doesn't it?

It also has me missing people from other times in my life, like school or previous summers. I'm headed back to school in a couple weeks, which will be good (as I get to reunite with many old friends and some newer ones), but I also think that its gonna be different now that I'm in grad school. It's more like the real world (compounded that I'm not living in a dorm but in an apartment, although with some really cool folk), and I've found that I enjoy nonreal worlds (dorm life, camp) to the real world (though being on the MTV show of that name might be cool).

It's also cloudy outside.

I did buy some new music though, which makes me happy :)

In Limbo-not at kamp any more, not back at school yet.

I'm really going to try to keep in touch with camp folk. Wow, I'm actually missing you guys. I guess we had some Good Times (yes, I do say that a lot-I know). I actually got kind of close with some people this time around, as opposed to last year when I went with one of my best friends (hey Dub) and so mainly hung around him and folk he knew. At least now I have friends in places like Australia, the UK, Philadelphia (or close to it at least), Indiana, etc. So if i'm ever taking a weird rode trip in my amphibious car, I can stop by and see all of ya'll.

Oh, and the unofficial MBPC (Maine Black People Count) for this summer was 105, about 10-15 more than last year. We're taking over!

Back home for a couple week before going off to school. Got to hang out with my current and former roomie(s) and some camp people over the weekend. There are some people that I'm really missing. Alas. I do at least get to see some family while I'm home.

Camp's over :( The kids left yesterday morning, and staff have started to leave today. There were a lot of goodbyes that weren't really goodbyes because you aren't sure when people are leaving so you say goodbye to them but then see them around for another half hour and its awkward. Gotta love those-it takes the sting out of parting. Off to Boston tomorrow for a few days, then back home to pack up and head back to school-oh boy, i have to take a math course. kinda scary

Anyway, parting is such sweet sorrow, or so I've heard on tv.

Ok, so I've pretty much established that I am actually over the girl that I thought was attractive but wasn't really into otherwise. That makes me fell good-perhaps I'm less shallow than I feared.

I'm pretty sure I'm mostly over the girl I actually did have a little crush thing going for (though it wasn;t really that much of a crush compared to others I've had in the past). I still find her attractive (physically and personalitywise) in a weird, "she's-so-opposite-of-me" kind of way, but I'm not harboring a thing for her anymore.

I still kinda like the third girl, but its a bit strange bc its not exactly a crush. It kinda sits on that border between friendship and romance that I often find myself on, but I really think I could be really cool just being good friends with her (which I hope happens, despite the geographical distance we're likely to have post-camp).

Ok, should do some work now-hope you've enjoyed installment 387 of my heart's ups and downs

Yay, so I think I'm over two of the three girls (see below). Details soon.

(continuation of previous post)
Camp does weird things to you. Like as you know, I've never been one into having flings or anything like that. And I came to camp totally like 'there's no way I'm starting anything with anyone here' since I'm not going to see them again (or at least not very much) after we leave. And I didn't start anything with anybody, but the appeal of doing so definitely grew after a while. I dunno, being in this bubble (speaking of which, actual bubbles are flying by my window now, but that's a different story) changes your perspective on things, and it can be kind of isolating, making you crave some companionship. Now that we have a week left though, I am kinda glad that I didn't become ivolved with someone because now I don't have to do the whole goodbye thing with them, but I do still kinda have that whole "what could have been?" thing going on in my head as well. :) sigh

Aarg, such a dork.

So you know how usually there's some girl that I kinda get interested in and then I develop like a big crush but then nothing comes of it and its this whole emotional rollercoaster (a good song, by the way; as is "rollercoaster of love", which I think is actually called "love rollercoaster"). Well this summer was slightly different. I think it was because I couldn't figure out who I "should" like that instead of one girl, there were kinda three that I was kinda interested in in different ways. There was one who I think really "should" have been my crush, not that anything would have come of it, but various circumstances kind of ruled her out. There was a second one who I was just physically attracted to but I know I wouldn't really click with personalitywise; plus she's seeing someone anyway, so I'm glad I got over her. There was a third person who I do like despite being very different from, but I discovered recently that she is seeing someone as well, so that won't pan out. Not that I necessarily wanted it to pan out in the first place, as I will probably explain tomorrow.

Dude, that's like 3 girls. I feel so emotionally promiscuous. What is happening to me? I've become such a horrible person (don't worry, I don't actually think that makes me a horrible person, but still...). Such a dork.

("Roller-coaster, of love, yeah! Roller-coaster, of love!")

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (the new version) is weird. and funny.
Has Johnny Depp ever played a normal character?

So I've discovered I've developed somewhat of a paternalistic instinct for my staff (Dude, I have a staff!), which is interesting since some of them are older than me. One of them had to leave yesterday, and I felt really bad, bc he was good at his job and bc I didn't get to say goodbye. Plus, I actually like them all, him included, so its kinda sad not having him around. Some other staff members were pretty bummed about it too, which in turn makes me feel bad for them. alas

Aargh-i have to take a crash math course in a month and I haven't studied. If only I knew some people who were good at math...

Also, saw a few minutes of the show "Numb3rs" last night, about a young math wiz who helps his federal agent brother solve crimes. How come none of my math friends do that? Or do they...?

Sorry about the infrequency of my posts

P.S.
Hi Mexican Muse!

Who would have thought that a country western club would be so much fun. Finally went out with the staff again last night. One of them is leaving tomorrow, so this was his last harrah, and we had a good time.

In totally unrelated news, my MBPC is at about 92-i'm way ahead of pace from last summer. Also, there are Mexican, Chinese and Thai restaurants in Maine. I've been to the first two, but am kind of scared of trying the third. Somehow "Maine" and "Thai" just don't seem to go together for me.

Ok, so i haven't updated in a while. let's see what's going on...

Camp is going well, already into the second session. Wow, time is flying by this summer. Kinda sad actually, one of the things i liked about last year was that time here seemed to slow down, in a good way, instead of just flying by as it usually does.

Some friends are coming up to visit next week-yay! and in honor of them doing so, I'm actually taking one of my days off :)

I feel i should be a bit nervous about school, seeing as I haven't studied all summer and have a crash math course in a little over a month. Oh well, at least I know some mathematical people to help me out :)

I love girls, girls, girls, girls. Girls I do adore....Ok, no work romance this summer to speak of-oh well, I'm not really into the fling thing anyway.

So cut off from the outside world I am. Anything important going on at the moment?

Ok, that was the quick update. I'm really going to try to try to post some more in the next few day. Thanks for your patience.

So I've been listening to a few tracks from Dr. Dre and Snoop (old Chronic/Doggystyle tracks and some of the new stuff) and I realize that, though they're great musically, lyrically they're kinda representative of all the negative stereotypes of rap music: drugs, violence, misogyny, etc, without a whole lot of content or value.

I miss grunge music. Not that I listened to it when it was out, but I did discover it in college, and now I'm wondering why people cant make such good, nonsensical music nowadays. Instead they have to have "emotions " (some people have been explaining to me what emo is) and poppy catchphrases and whatnot.

Listening to Nirvana.

Yeah I know its been like a week since I've posted. I've kinda lost track of time now. Work is good, can't really elaborate much at the moment. So hot it's been the last couple days, so very hot. Why, oh why? I won't complain too much, as I prefer this to the cold rainy days we had not too long ago. I'm not really sure about whats going on in the outside world, so I don't have much witty social commentary at the moment. I'm gonna try to get back on track with my blog now though.

Sort of a continuation of the "friends" post from some days back. Do you ever find yourself attracted to people that you know or are pretty sure are wrong for you. Not that they are necessarily bad people or anything (or maybe they are) but you know that you just couldn't (or shouldn't) workas a couple?

Another sign that I'm growing up, in a good way. So before if I was in charge of setting up a presentation and it got screwed up and I got put on the spot and it took a long time to figure out what was happening and it threw off the schedule, I'd be all mortified and what not, but now I'm just like Oh Well and kinda laugh it off. Sure I'd rather it not happen that way, but I really don't care that much (in a good way) -score! Now if only i had my license...

Will Ferrell is quite amusing. Have watched "Night at the Roxbury" (mildly funny) and "Anchorman" (very funny). The impressive thing is that he's funny in different ways in his different skits/movies.

Why must it be cold, rainy?

"Heeee's the one who likes all our pretty songs and he likes to sing along..."-sorry, listening to Nirvana today.

Will come up with a real post soon.

So I was once again reminded that I think I've made friends with some girls primarily because I'm attracted to them. Not that they aren't also cool people or whatever - I don't think I would hang around someone who was completely a jerk just because she was good-looking - but I also have the strong impression that I wouldnt be as interested in some people as friends if somewhere in the back of my mind I wasn't interested in them as more than friends, even though in many or most of these cases I have no actual intention of getting with them or trying to do so. And it seems that an attractive face makes their personalities seem more attractive too ,though I have also had the reverse happen (i.e. a really cool or good person seeming more attractive physically as well) . Back to the question at hand though, is it ok to make friendships based consciously or subconsciously on attraction or no, or does it even matter?

So it was really good being in Cambridge/Somerville/Boston those few days. I got to catch up with several people who i missed last time I was in town (in April, visiting grad school) or just wanted to hang out with more. The Js are always fun. I got to meet the new subletter, who is a nice guy, despite the fact he is now in MY room with the cool gothic lamps :) (you have to see these lamps sometime-they're cool). "Jane" (not her real name), a friend of the Js who is one of our other roommates seems cool-I haven't gotten to interact with her too much yet.

I'm gonna miss the seniors who graduated this year, I hope they (you if you're reading) stay in touch, and I'll try to do likewise.

FYI: I'm at my summer job now, as my previous post mentioned, so I may be posting a little less, but I will try to post every day or two (which would actually be more than what I was doing) so stay tuned.

Hi, i guess I haven't been updating for a few days. I was (an am) out of town. I went up to Boston for a few days and stayed with my old roommates (the Js) and othre folk at our new place in Somerville (or is it Summerville) that we're renting. My room has a subletter for the summer, so I had to sleep on the couch, but he's nice and all so I didn't mind too much. The place is cool-looking forward to the fall.

I got to catch up with some folk while I was there. Hung out with several of the graduating seniors-I'm gonna miss you guys when I come back in the fall. Also saw some folk who will be around when I go back.

now I am back at Camp in maine, where I worked last summer. Most of my actual job hasn't started yet, so I'm just kinda hanging around going over some things, pretty low-key. About 10 or so counselors from last year are here now (they came early to work setting up/fixing up things), but it looks like only about 15 or so people will be returning (not counting admin folk or whatnot)-most of the counselors are new.

anywho, thats the short update-i will probably elaborate on some of this stuff in coming days. stay tuned...

Went to DC today, met up with friend SB (not her real initials). She's someone I met at Yale I think during grad school visit then again at Harvard immediately following (also the person's who's party i did not end up attending, if you've been following this blog). She's cool folk, and we're to be classmates in the fall. We're both interested in Africa related stuff (her more security stuff, me more humanitarian/economic), so naturally we went to the Smithsonian African Art museum (where "went to" means walked around in vain looking for it for 5-10 minutes and getting in the way of middle school tour groups before eventually tracking it down, then accidentally wandered off into other exhibits before finding our way back). Talked about upcoming school, saw cool artifacts and "did you know" info, discussed sketchiness of grad students hanging with undergrads and our upcoming involvement in such activities. Then we walked around the Mall (i.e. the Washington area with all the grass, not a place with stores and a food court with a Cinnabon) and looked at the Capital, until she met up with her friend Tim (not his real name; nice dude, by the way). Got home in time to procrastinate on packing.

So I was really excited about this whole Deep Throat story, even though I was born several years after Watergate and all. Darn Political Science, creeping into my life. I still can't figure out why the reporters chose to name the informant after the porn movie, and my fear of accidentally stumbling on porn sites has limited my internet searches. Let me know if anyone knows for sure.

www.jumptheshark.com is so addictive. Check out the Elmo analysis for Sesame Street.

ok, so i just woke up, so I'll use that as an excuse for what I might say in this blog that I might not say on another day. I just realized that it is about a year since I graduated, and yesterday I realized that I'm the same age (23) that my younger older brother was when I met him 5 years ago in the summer before I started college. What have I accomplished since then.

On one hand, not much. I have a degree from Harvard, as I usually forget, yet haven't had a job since last summer (though I am going back to that place, a summer camp, this summer and got a promotion). My brother was already an entrepreneur (or however you actually spell it) doing his own business stuff by now, and I'm living in my mom's living room. I'm low on cash, have no girlfriend, no drivers license,....

And yet, as I wrote that paragraph, I realize that I'm actually kinda happy. I have a lot of prospects (I'm going back to the place I worked last summer, I'm going to start a PhD program in the fall, girls find me irresistible, Boston has public transportation...). Even if one of those might not be true, life is actually kinda good I guess. Plus I have great family and friends, am healthy (according to all these checkups I've had to do for camp/school/etc), God loves me (He's been good to me).

Yay! Things are good.

So today Common's new album "BE" comes out. For those of you who don't know, Common is an MC from Chicago who's long been hailed as a great if underappreciated artist. Fans had been a little wary of his moves into left field of late (dating Erykah Badu, increasingly unusual style of dress and music), but everyone has been hailing this new album as a classic or near classic. I listened to it a few times on an online preview, and while I initially thought it was good not great, I've liked it more each time I've listened and now think it lives up to the hype.

The album is pretty short-about 43 minutes, 11 songs. Kanye West, a fellow Chi-Town native, produced 9 of those tracks and appears at a few points, mostly on choruses, on the album. Since the album is named BE (which apparently also stands for Basement Elevation, though I'm not sure exactly what that means), I did notice the word "be" and the concept of being throughout the album. I also noticed various songs getting stuck in my head at different points (I won't bias you by telling you which). A few things might be a little problematic for a "conscious" rapper like Common (like the sex fantasies on one of the songs and accompanying girl-filled video), but Common's stuff is deeper and more thought out than a quick glance or listen might reveal (for instance, I wondered about him writing a verse on one song from the perspective of a prostitute, but found out that it is actually based on a conversation he had with a real person). Check it out on www.bet.com/music (you might have to create an account in order to listen).

In case you were wondering, my doctor's visit went fine, and assuming my TB test comes back negative, I seem to be in good health. My bad cholesterol is low and my good cholesterol is appropriately high, and my neutral cholesterol-does that exist? I'm also apparently 5' 6" now-perhaps I should stand up straight more often.

My doctor was a Harvard undergrad who lived in Winthrop house. I would've asked more, but i figured she had other patients to see, and the hospital gown thing did make it a little awkward for striking up conversation.

So I knew I watched Desperate Housewives and I knew I got my mom to watch it too, but I didn't know my dad watches it as well. Not quite the answer to the I-don't-know-much-about-my-dad post.

On unrelated news, I get to go to the doctor at 8:30! tomorrow. Don't worry, just a checkup, unless they find something weird, like they did when I went to the dentist a couple weeks ago (hmm, perhaps I should check that out. It actually is oddly fun when a doctor, or dentist in this case, comes in, looks at your x-ray, and starts talking to the nurse/assistant about how he doesn't know what something is in the picture :)) Will my doctor visit be as fun? time will tell, my friends.

So I've been thinking a bit about Mexican-US and Latino-American relations a little, mainly because of some stuff in the news lately. First there was the issue about banning illegal immigrants from getting driver's licenses. I do admit that this particular issue does strike me as kind of weird, considering that illegal immigrants are here, well, illegally, and so it's odd to think about government issuing licenses to non-citizens. Not that it's a bad idea necessarily, but I do see the point of those who oppose these licenses.

Then there was the comment made by Mexican President Vicente Fox that (as it's been translated): "There's no doubt that Mexican men and women -- full of dignity, willpower and a capacity for work -- are doing the work that not even blacks want to do in the United States." Needless to say that didn't go over too well with a lot of folks, and President Fox has backed away and apologized, or almost apologized at least, for this statement.

Yet I did find a grain of truth, kinda, in the statement. What I mean is that, in a lot of ways, Latinos, especially illegal immigrants, have taken up the role formerly played by blacks in the US. In popular wisdom and culture they're expected to do a lot of the menial work, and stereotypes and racism toward them are allowed to be overtly expressed in ways that are no longer socially acceptable (or at least no longer as socially acceptable) to do against blacks.

Even government gets into the act. See, for instance, the so-called Congressional Immigration Reform Caucus: http://tancredo.house.gov/irc/welcome.htm
I was surprised that elected officials in our government could be so, let's say "unthoughtful" in their politics and opinions. Some of their arguments just seem to me to be kinda garbage-see for instance immigration's impact on "Culture" (their entire "argument" is that the amount of immigrants has increased. I guess this is supposed to imply something, but they don't tell you what).

On the other hand you have the President's Guest Worker proposal that he laid out a while back. I haven't evaluated all the aspects of this idea, but the part that disturbs me is the idea of immigrants doing jobs that Americans "refuse to do." While this may be a reality, I am very disturbed that such a social stratisfication would be accepted and endorsed by our leaders. I mean, is this really so different from President Fox's comment? So, basically, some jobs are beneath us but are ok for others (formerly blacks, now Latino immigrants) to do? Ah, America. sigh

I don't know a whole lot about my father's side of the family. I had to fill out some info about him for a medical form i filled out at the doctor's office yesterday. I don't even know how old he is-I wrote my best guest.

I do know how old my half brothers are (28, 38) but still have a lot of blanks with them too. We kinda got off to a late start. I think i met my father around 7th or 8th grade, and have for the most part kept sporadic contact. My brothers I think I met at 18 (my younger older brother, during the summer before college started) and 19 (my older older brother, winter break that year). They're both cool but our relationship is kinda strange. We have the whole brother thing going pretty well (I think they, especially my younger older brother, like having a baby brother) but without any of the history. As far as I know, they don't have any sisters (the previous post was strictly hypothetical-really) or other siblings. And I know bits and pieces about their histories from casual conversation, but haven't really sat them down and gotten all the basics from them. I'm not sure if that's really a big deal or not, but it's a little unusual I guess. I would like to know some more about them in order to relate better, and I feel like we haven't had enough time for them to get to know me really-I haven't quite gotten to the "completely being myself" level with them.

Most of what I know about my dad is from my mom I think, so my info might be a bit one sided (they didn't part on the best of terms i've gathered). I haven't really asked for his side of things (I'm not entirely sure I want to, as I don't necessarily want him to confirm everything my mom has said, and I'm not sure I'd buy it if he contradicted what she's told me instead). Not that I have any animosity against him (do I?), or that my mom wants me to (she's good about not trying to influence my opinion of him, and she likes my brothers) and he has been trying to do the father thing in recent years, within the confines of me already being an adult (did I just say that?-*shudder*) and all. Maybe his version of the whole estrangement thing does make sense. Maybe it doesn't matter now. Is this all weird or not?-I dont have another family to compare it to.

Ok, so suppose you're a guy who has a half brother, and your half brother has a half sister who isn't related to you (or pretend you're a girl and just switch all the "brother"s and "sister"s above). Is it ok to date your half sibling's half sibling? I mean, technically you aren't related, but still....

Watching too many soap operas.

I just re realized that the United Nations building is in New York. I mean, I knew it was, but I guess I didn't really think about it much-the UN seems like this faraway entity with which we don't get along very well and all, but it's (physically, at least) IN the United States. Hmmm....

I also realized that I must actually like this politics stuff, as I was listening to the debate on C-Span (yeah, C-Span) about the John Bolton nomination for UN ambassador, and I enjoyed it. I also like the Sunday morning political talk programs and Charlie Rose on PBS. I fear I'm becoming an adult, or at least a politically aware kid.

Holding someone is nice isnt it? I think I understand why people like teddy bears or big pillows-it's just a good feeling.

I was thinking this morning though, about sleeping in the same bed with someone (not from a perspective of having sex with them or anything like that-you know I'm saving myself until I'm married to that special girl [awwwwwwww]). Anyway, just like having someone to hold seems like it would be nice, but it also seems like it might be kind of impractical during the whole sleeping process. I like to have space to roll around and stuff when I sleep and have weird dreams and all, and it seems like having another person there would kind of get in the way, and my shifting would probably be annoying to them. How do people do that-do they just get used to it after a while or what? Not that I have to worry about that anytime in the immediate future, but I am curious at least.

I love ya mom (who isn't reading this anyway, but oh well :))
Thanks to everyone who commented or will comment on any of my posts-much appreciated.

I was listening to Songs in A Minor by Alicia Keys yesterday. It's a really good album. I used to like her second album (The Diary of Alicia Keys) better, but I think that, on average, I'm leaning toward Songs now. Both are really good though-I feel that she's light years ahead of most of the R&B/Soul acts out nowadays. Just listen to songs like Troubles or Mr. Man on the first CD. Or my favorite, Diary, off of the latest disc. She goes beyond the trite "oh I love you, I'll be down for you and we can have lots of sex" sentiments of many R&B love songs. I really like the deepness and creativity of the concept of this song, that this guy she is with can open up to her as if she were his diary. Its such a novel way of expressing a close relationship, and yet it makes perfect sense. And the song itself just sounds so good-its slow and deep and layered, and the back and forth "I won't tell" between her and Tony Toni Tone' is a great emotional crescendo (I don't know if it also qualifies as a musical crescendo-you musicians might know better) to the sentiment of the song.
I should probably disclaim that I have a bit of a thing for her too (not a real crush or anything, but she is easy on the eyes, I say with vast understatement) , and so I might be a bit biased. I've often wondered if I would have liked her music as much if I had heard it before knowing who it came for. But I think I can honestly say that the music lives up to the hype. And dude, she's my age-why couldn't I have grown up in New York :)

Hope the religious talk doesn't scare anyone away.

So I was trying to talk to God yesterday. It was National Prayer Day, and so I figured I'd take some time out to pray a little more than usual. I do fear that I might be neglecting my relationship with God a little bit.

There's a part of the Bible where someone asks Jesus what the greatest commandment is, and he responds with two principles-love God and love your neighbor. I've been trying to do the latter with my concern for people suffering from poverty and violence (esp. in Africa), but I fear that I might be doing so at the expense of the former. I don't think that these have to be exclusive, but I think that maybe in this case I might (unconsciously) be approaching the situation like doing more to care for others somehow fills up my quota of holiness or something and therefore don't feel I have to spend as much time in prayer, Bible reading, worship, etc.

Thinking about this however, I know tht I shouldn't approach it this way because, first, not communing with God will probably hurt my approaches to loving others (by missing out on where God is leading me, etc) and because, even if I could be just as effective in how I act toward others, I'm still missing the bigger picture of my relationship with God, which is the point of this whole Christianity.

If you are a praying person, drop a little one for me eh :)

"To shave or not to shave, that is the question. whether 'tis nobler..."-ok, that might be a bit snoody (or snoody might not be a word), and I haven't even read that play.

So, should I go beard or no beard? I used to have one, as my college friends know. I started growing a beard around junior or senior year of high school I think. I was really happy about that bc otherwise I think I still look like a middle school kid. But around senior year of college I started shaving it off bc I thought it made me look old, and, I don't know, I guess now that I'm getting up there (23! already) I want to recapture my youth, and the beard was getting too full and making me look old, which wasn't a cool thing like it was in high school.

Plus, do women really like guys with beards? I mean, it seems like it would be uncomfortable. I mean, I know that sometimes when I haven't shaved in a while its uncomfortable for me, hard to sleep on even. On the other hand, a neat trim beard does make you look kind of cool. Right now I'm in a bit of a compromise-I try to stay clean shaven but I also get lazy and let it grow out sometimes before I get around to shaving again. I should probably choose a look and keep with it though.

Yes, you would think that I'd have something more important to think about, wouldn't you. But if anyone has suggestions about the bearded look let me know.

(Bad) Pick up lines (don't expect them to work, but they might be amusing to use)

I've just arrived in fineville, population: you. (adapted from a Simpson's line)

I would hold you, but I didn't bring my oven mitts

I was gonna buy you a present, but how about I give you my last name?

I hope there's a little room in your heart for me-I'll carry my own bags.

I'd like to hold your hand, just to make sure you're real.

I don't want a date; I want your whole calendar.

I'll trade you-your number for my heart.

Shouldn't you come with a warning label? (i'm not even sure what that one means)

A walk like that should have theme music

My favorite:
Is it sexy in here or is it just you? (from a 14yr old kid at a summer camp)

Not that I want to go out and get wasted (do kids say "wasted" nowadays?), but I am a little curious about the whole alcohol thing. What does it feel like? So apparently being drunk is actually just your body being poisoned by excessive alcohol (thank you B.Dub, who I'm pretty sure will not read my blog), but it must be a decently pleasant poisoning bc it seems to be popular. Is it like the feeling you get when you get a new puppy for your birthday (not that I know what that is like either).

So anyway, in case you're curious, I'll try to explain why I don't drink. Part of it is religious, though not exactly how you might expect. I don't think drinking is wrong in and of itself (though I do think doing so excessively is). However, part of the church covenant at my home church in SC is that we will abstain from alcoholic drinks as a beverage (I have had communion wine-elsewhere, as they don't use real wine at my church-which is not for beverage purposes and therefore doesn't count), and I figured that since I agreed to it when I joined the church, I'll abide by it. Although I was only like 12 when I did so, and I'm not entirely sure I actually agreed to it (I think I might have skipped saying that part when we had to recite it, but I don't remember-it was a while ago), so I may re-explore the issue at some point.

My non-religious reason is that I feel like I might be one of those persons who doesn't hold his alcohol well and/or may not be good at drinking in moderation. Of course I don't really have a way of judging either of those things, but it's just kind of a hunch I have. And I like having control of myself; thus being under the influence is less appealing. Not that drinking necessarily means getting drunk, but it helps right? And since I have enough of a challenge not being an idiot sober, I'm wary of throwing alcohol in the mix. :)

Also, I hear alcohol actually doesn't taste that good, and I like things that taste good. Maybe (if I drank) I could drink one of those fruit flavored drinks with the umbrellas and the pretty colors-those look good.

Just a reminder that comments are very welcome-I wanna hear what you think and just know that people are actually reading these. So drop a line on any of the posts here.

It would be real cool if there was like some girl, and I was like really good friends with her, and we could just like hang out and talk about stuff and have a good time and laugh at each other and stuff. And then we just like realize that we liked each other and got together. Like in one of those teen dramas. Except without all the complicated stuff that happens after. That would be cool.

Also, if she liked hip hop-though that's optional. Some kind of music would be good though, though not a deal breaker.

In case you were wondering, nothing in particular inspired this, except maybe watching too much WB.

So, living with your mom during your year off isn't all smiles and daffodils. First of all, you have to explain why you're living with your mom by saying it's only for the year (see above) in order to not sound like too much of a loser. Second, you have to be respectful of the living situation and all, which while usually fine can put a cramp in your social style (is that the expression-something like that).

Anyway, so I was invited to this party in DC Saturday night by a nice girl I met during grad school visits who will be going to school w/ me next year (no, it's not like that, she's just a friend). So telling my mom about it, she was emphatic that the area where the party is isn't a good place and that I shouldn't go. She seems to still be a bit upset over that whole robbery thing from a couple summers ago (long story short-i was visiting another friend in DC 2 summers ago, got robbed by a group of guys-no violence or anything, just financial loses, some inconvenience, and a story to tell-"so there were like half a dozen of them, and just me, with my bare hands, fighting them all off at once..." except without the last part, which didn't actually happen ;)).

So I obviously understand her concerns and I have been a lot more cautious with that kind of stuff since the incident. Still, this is probably something that, if I were living on my own, I'd go to, and I could still technically go now if I wanted to I guess, but that would be a bad thing to do to mi madre-she worries enough as it is. Besides, I am getting free room and board; I guess that's worth a party or two.

extra credit to anyone who found the song reference in this post.

So I've been doing some cleaning up around here lately. No, really, I have. I was organizing my old notes from college, and it's kind of weird to think that four years can fit into some notebooks and a few folders.

Dude, I have a degree. I keep forgetting that. Maybe once I get a frame for it, it'll seem real. Or i could get it copied, shrunk and put in in my wallet. Or print it on T-shirts. and on hats. No, that might seem pretentious. Just the T-shirts.

Inspired by several of my friends. Please see the next post for ways to help.

"If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength! Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter. If you say, "But we knew nothing about this," does not He who weighs the heart perceive it? Does not He who guards your life know it? Will He not repay each person according to what he has done?"
-Proverbs 24:10-12, quoted recently by a friend of mine.

We wanted to help but...what?

The United Nations wanted to help but...
but China wants their oil more, and so they just sit back and watch.
but Russia wants to sell them weapons, and so they just sit back and watch.

The US wanted to help, but then we forgot. We don't even watch.
Watching would be too hard; forgetting is easy.

But wait, it was the US who took note. We called it genocide when even the UN wouldn't. We stood up where we had not for Rwanda.
Then we patted ourselves on the back, and said job well done? Then we argued over which Court to send the criminals too. Of course, we aren't trying to stop them first...but someone will, right?

The African Union wants to help. They've done what we haven't. They've sent in troops.

Rwanda sent in troops, because it remembers what happened 10 years ago. We remember because of Hollywood and Don Cheadle. They remember because of 800,000 dead.

Nigeria sent in troops, because it has power, because it has the largest population in Africa, because it has played the role of peacekeeper before.

The African Union wanted to help. But they couldn't decide who should go in first. They argued over status, and people died. They went in, but they didn't have...
They didn't have the authority to attack, to disarm, to strike first. Instead, they watch. They monitor.
They didn't have the manpower to police this region. 2000 soldiers for 200,000 square miles.
They didn't have the money or the equipment to be as effective as they could.

And so...
And so the government of Sudan says it didn't start this, and the Janjaweed ("bandits", "devils on horseback") aren't under their control, and they aren't being helped by government soldiers, and yet the soldiers are helping, are fighting next to the militias.

And so they continue killing, and raping, and looting. Is it about race? or land? or politics, or...well, what is genocide ever about?

And so Britain watches. It still has interest in its old colony. It actually pays attention.
And so, the US watches (from time to time). If only its troops weren't already committed elsewhere then...it would have a different excuse. But that excuse might not be quite as good-but we don't have to worry about that, because we have our excuse this time. This isn't like Rwanda.

And so the relief organizations, the charities, they bind the wounds, they feed the hungry. But their bandages are too few, and their food and water are too little. And their weapons-well, they have no weapons. And so those outside their camps are killed. And so those inside their camps are afraid. and hungry. and thirsty. and scarred. And those inside their camps are uprooted, again. Their camps are bulldozed, looted, burned.
Sometimes, aid workers die. And their collegues leave. They have to be alive to return another day, another place, to save lives somewhere, even if not here.

And so the rebels-yes, the rebels who started this conflict. They aren't innocent. They continue to attack, and reject peace. They harass aid workers. And they-they want their own people to continue to suffer? Because if they suffer, the world will watch, and if the world will watch, the world will act, and if the world will act, the rebels will win. The rebels are clever, but they don't know the world, do they? We can watch and not act. We can even choose not to watch.

And when our children ask us, why didn't we help, we'll tell them...
And when their children (those that are left) ask us, why didn't we help, we'll tell them..
And when judgment day comes, and I'm asked, why didn't I help, I'll tell Him...


If you want to help you can:
1. Donate-here are a couple organizations doing good work in Darfur:

World Food Programme
http://www.wfp.org/how_to_help/donate_online/online.asp?section=4&sub_section=5
US Friends of the WFP
PO Box 11856
Washington , D.C. 20008

Doctors without Borders/Médecins Sans Frontières
http://www.doctorswithoutborders-usa.org/donate/

2. Write your members of Congress:
To find out who they are, visit www.house.gov and www.senate.gov
For a sample letter, see the following site (letters at the bottom of the page)http://www.genocideinterventionfund.org/action/legislation.php

Africa Update: Darfur

300,000 people dead and counting.

So I figure most people have at least heard about the situation in Darfur, the western region of the African country Sudan. If you haven't heard or want to know more, here is a very quick summary.

Sudan has had civil wars going on for decades. For instance, a 21-year conflict between the government and rebels in the south just ended with a peace deal signed in January of this year. In 2003, however, a separate conflict started in the western region of Darfur. People from several black African tribes residing in Darfur formed a rebel movement and attacked government targets (police stations, etc). They are fighting because they feel they have been neglected and excluded by the Arab government of Sudan. The government responded by helping to arm Arab militia known as the Janjaweed, who have been systematically terrorizing the villages of these black tribes. The Janjaweed have committed massive amounts of murder, rape, looting and other crimes. Current estimates say around 300,000 people may have died as a result of this conflict. 2 million more people have been forced out of their homes and into refugee camps, where they suffer from shortages of food and water. The Sudanese government, despite it's denials, has supported the Janjaweed, often sending government troops who participate with the Janjaweed in attacts. The US government has already declared that these acts amount to genocide, but relatively little has been done by the US or the rest of the international community, and the conflict continues.

So I'm a pretty big music fan. A lot of the artists I like, though, are individuals who don't really match up with my morals and beliefs. Furthermore, some of them are or have been accused or even convicted of some pretty bad stuff. I've wondered for a long time to what extent I should let artists personal lives influence whether or not I listen to their music, buy their albums and whatnot.

The Michael Jackson trial is going on now, and if he is indeed guilty of the charges against him, then he's committed some pretty morally reprehensible acts. If that is so, does that mean that I shouldn't continue to listen to and enjoy his music because I know who it's coming from and what he has done. On the one hand, as long as he's not advocationg abuse of children in his music, perhaps his art and his personal acts are two different things that can be separated. On the other hand, doesn't doing so imply that I'm, to some extent at least, giving him a pass, saying that it doesn't really matter to me what he's done as long as he makes good albums?

I mean, if say Britney Spears went on a racist tirade or something like that, then I would guess that there would be a huge moral outrage and listening to or playing her music would become taboo (though Eminem has largely remained unscathed after an old tape of him making racist comments was produced, but that's a different topic). But hasn't an artist who's committed murder or child molestation done a worse thing than that, and shouldn't there be an even stronger reaction against them? (note-I'm not a big Britney fan, though I do like a couple of her songs, but thought she might be a good example. And I am still a fan of some of Eminem's stuff, despite having BIG problems with a lot of the stuff he says, including unease over the racial comments)

Another question is, if you should let an artist's personal behavior effect how you react to them, how far should you go? Should you only shun artists who commit murder or assault women or children? What about physical abuse against spouses or girlfriends? What about acts that don't directly harm others, like drug use? Should those things matter or not to the fan? How about acts that the artist may have done in the past (drug dealing, robberies, etc, as many, many rappers claim to have committed) but has claimed to put behind him/her? Or what about acts that are alleged but not proven in a court of law? To what extent should artists get the benefit of the doubt from fans (I think for instance of R.Kelly, who has not as of yet been convicted of the child pornography charges against him but who according to people who have seen the videotape have little or no doubt it is him)? I've thought about these questions on and off for a while and have come to different conclusions in individual cases. For instance, I have continued to give Michael Jackson the benefit of the doubt while waiting for the evidence to come out but I tend to avoid listening to R.Kelly's music once the extent of the evidence against him became known. I don't know if either of these reactions, or those I've had with other artists, are legitimate or not, and I may change my mind about them. Any ideas?

How do you meet people in the real world? So I'm in my year off between college and grad school, living a few minutes walk away from the University of Maryland campus con mi madre. I'm not affiliated with the school at all though, and I don't know any of the students or hang out on campus. It's a pretty big school, so there must be stuff going on around, but I can't really figure out how to a) figure out when/where stuff is going on or b)get into that scene even if i knew. There's a couple bars near where I live where students seem to hang out, but I'm not the type of person who just goes to a bar and meets people.

I guess I'm not really the type who goes anywhere solo and meets people or anything like that. In college or when I've been in the DC area previously for summer jobs, I'd go out with friends from school or people I knew from work, and therefore have people to hang out with at the bar or folks to watch a movie with or whatever. But I don't really know anyone here to do that type of thing with, and therefore I don't really go out, which means I don't meet anyone new (is this a Catch 22 or not)? Fortunately, I'm still in touch with a lot of my friends I've met from college and have met some people visiting grad schools and whatnot, but those people aren't around to hang out with, so it's not the same. I'm going back to the place I worked last summer (a summer camp) in June and then to grad school in september (where I still have a lot of friends in the area, so that will be cool), so this will all be a moot point shortly. Still, it might be useful for the future to figure out how people do manage to go out and meet people and all that stuff outside of school or work (assuming they do-they must, right?)

Africa update: Togo
Election Sunday.
So for those who don't know much about Togo, here's some background (it's a little long but interesting). Togo is a small West African country bordering Ghana. It became independent of Britain in 1960. It's first president, Sylvanus Olympio, was assassinated in 1963 and a few years later Gnassingbe Eyadema took over in a bloodless coup, and held on to power with an authoritarian government for decades. Eyadema, who may have been involved in the Olympio assassination, ruled from 1967 until he died suddenly in February 2005 (yes, that is 38 years), by which time he had established himself as Africa's longest-serving ruler.

This is where it gets interesting. According to the constitution, the head of the national assembly, at the time a man named Fambare Ouattara Natchaba, was to be installed as interim president, with elections within 60 days for a new president. Natchaba was out of the country at the time of the death and the country's military sealed the borders, which prevented him from returning. The military then installed Eyadema's son, Faure Gnassingbe (who had been a minister in the government) as president, claiming they needed to act right away in order to keep order in the country. Once this was criticized as blatantly illegal, the Parliament (dominated by the president's party), hastily voted Gnassingbe as speaker, thus retroactively legalizing his installation as President. It was also decided that Gnassingbe would serve his father's full term instead of having elections in 60 days.

This did not go over well with the international community, especially the neighboring countries. Under pressure and sanctions from both the African Union (AU) and the Economic Community of West African States (ECOWAS), Gnassingbe relented, agreeing to hold elections and then stepping down, installing Abass Bonfoh, vice president of the national assembly, as interim president (Natchaba continued to claim he should have been installed, but that did not happen). This was important because in the past the African political community was seen as an old boy's club that allowed dictators and coup leaders to operate unpunished, so the forcefulness by which African leaders pressed Togo's government to act according to its own principles gives hope that a blind eye will no longer when rulers victimize their countries and people.

There has been some violence between supporters of the government and opposition candidates in the run up to the election, scheduled for April 24, with a few deaths reported, though it is unclear if all of the claims are legitimate. as the government wants to paint a bad pictures of the opposition, and the opposition is arguing that the elections have been arranged to hastily to give them a fair shot at organizing a campaign. Gnassingbe is running as the ruling party's candidate after having stepped down as president. The main opposition candidate is Emmanuel Bob-Akitani. The real leader of the opposition, however, is Gilchrist Olympio, son of the slain first president. Mr. Olympio has been living in exile after an assassination attempt against him in 1992. He is not allowed to run for president because he does not live in the country, which is why his deputy is running in his place. Mr. Olympio is currently back in the country campaigning, however.

The election is scheduled for Sunday, April 24-will keep you updated.

This is me 

It took me a ridiculously long time to figure out how to post my picture.

Anyway, so this is my first post of actual content, so I figure I should say some things about myself. Let's see what else. I'm Christian (Baptist-raised, non-denominationally Protestant in practice), which is very important to me. I genuinely try to live up to Biblical principles (loving God, loving neighbors, with the specifics that come with), but I could still use improvements in some areas-feel free to give me suggestions.


I grew up in Allendale, SC (technically in Martin, SC in Allendale County). I graduated from Allendale-Fairfax High School in 2000 (good old A-F, you may have read about it somewhere. sigh.), and went to Harvard University. I graduated there in 2004 and am going back in fall 2005 to start a Ph.D. program. It's really a fun place (well, it can be), and I'm looking forward to being back, especially since a lot of my friends will still be around.


I like music, especially rap/hip hop, despite having a bunch of issues with the content in much of it. But I find the artistry of (good) rap music so fascinating and dare I say beautiful. (yes, I do dare). I expect to post lots of hip hop related commentary, so I won't elaborate here. I like most other forms of music too, though I haven't really gotten into classical or country yet. I'm a fan of grunge for some reason, though I do realize I'm about 11 years too late for that scene.

I have a weird sense of humor, so if you think something might be a joke, it probably is. Especially if it's a bad joke.

I'm still looking for that special lady, but I figure doing so over blogs is probably not the coolest thing in the world, so I'll stop now.

Ok, that's it for the moment-Comments on any of my posts are highly encouraged (I like the feedback and the knowledge that people are actually reading this thing).